Tag Archives: sex

Hippocratic Hypocrisy?

An article recently released in Lancet magazine calls out some prominent researchers who presented at the Association for the Study for Obesity conference on September 16-17, 2014 in Birmingham, UK.  Apparently they served up their research papers on how to “help people with obesity” with a hefty side dose of sarcasm, stigmatizing comments and downright nastiness towards people of size.  I can’t say I’m surprised, but I am glad that they are getting called out on some of their nonsense.

The article stopped short of naming names, which I found disappointing.  But I am glad that somebody is taking the time to point out in print that there’s not a lot of do no harm and an awful lot of hypocrisy going on at these conferences.  For one thing, these “obesity researchers” know better.  If they have done any homework at all, they know that stigmatizing overweight and obese people does not lead to better health outcomes.  In fact, it causes overweight and obese people a lot of stress, leads to poorer health and actually tends to increase weight–the very thing they are making fun of fat people for in the first place.

Want to know what I’m talking about?  TRIGGER WARNING–I’m going to share some serious fat shaming stuff here.  If you don’t want to read some really icky stuff that people said, skip down until after the video, okay?  As one researcher criticized a media source that suggested exercise isn’t particularly good for health exclaimed, “Exercise is rubbish?  That is precisely the message obese people want to hear.”  This exploits the stereotype that fat people hate to exercise and are lazy.  I think many of the thousands of people in our Fit Fatties Forum, you know the ones who are training for marathons and triathlons and Ironman competitions, the ones that did TWO 5Ks over the Thanksgiving break just because, I think they might take issue with this stereotype.  And if we want people to exercise more, I think a very brief search of the literature would indicate that shaming folks is not an effective tool to increase exercise adherence.

Then out of the mouth of another researcher who has published researcher on weight stigma and it’s effect on fat people, we got this little gem.  She said if people lost weight, “They would have a lot of sex, which is probably good as they won’t have had it for a while.”  Hmm. I wonder where in the body of research on fat people it suggests that fat people don’t have much sex?   A pretty brief search indicates that some studies show that larger people, are often more attractive to the opposite sex, have more sex and have the big O more often than their thinner counterparts.  But yes, the way to help people live a better life is to convince them that they are utterly sexless and unworthy of sex as they are.  NOT!

Finally, we have the researcher who was receiving one of the “best practice awards”.  She stated that the work they had done in reducing the weight of some of their patients, “provided more space for commuters on the London tube.”  Insert rimshot here.


Look, when we talk about “best practices” for researchers, we are looking for people who not only seek to eradicate bias from their work, but also have enough self awareness to recognize their own bias.  I ask you, when researchers who are RECEIVING AN AWARD FOR BEST PRACTICES feel it’s okay to round out their acceptance talk with a cheap joke at the expense of the subjects they are reportedly trying to help, I call foul!  When you have somebody who has published research on weight stigma, demonstrating some malicious and completely unfounded stereotypes about fat people at a professional conference, I think we really ought to step back and take a look.  This not only calls into question the researchers who presented these horrible slurs, but also the committee that selected them to speak and the organization who decided to give one of them an AWARD for best practices in research.

This is something that I find deeply frightening.  The notion that the people who claim to dedicate their lives to “helping” us, hold us fat people in such deep-seated and largely unquestioned contempt.  The truth is that we all hold bias in some form or another against some group or another.  But it is only when we choose to or are forced to confront it that we can move forward without damaging those we claim to wish to help.


Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)

P.S. Want to book me to come and speak about Weight Stigma?  Click HERE to learn more.

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Right Now Show Episode 005: The Big Fat Cookie Cycle

In Episode 005 of the Right Now Show, we explore the cycle of dieting, deprivation and desperation that I have dubbed “The Big Fat Cookie Cycle”.  Learn a few reasons why dieting typically fails and why the Health At Every Size(R) approach seems to be so much more successful.

Here are some important references offering more information on Health At Every Size:

The Fat Chick Works Out! Book and DVD

The Association for Size Diversity and Health

Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

Big Fat Stats

And finally, if you’re enjoying the show, don’t forget to subscribe at: http://www.youtube.com/jeanettedepatie.

Thanks so much!

AKA The Fat Chick

Love and Marriage, Size XXL

Celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary with the most amazing man in the world yesterday!  What a lucky, lucky duck I am.   All together I have spent over 25 years and more than half my life with this super awesome guy. Color me completely and totally grateful.

Now why am I telling you about this? Well one reason I’m telling you about it is that I AM grateful, and I want the whole world to know that.  But the other reason I’m telling you is to remind you that a lifetime of love with a fabulous partner is possible at any size.  I’d call it “Love At Every Size”, except for the somewhat unfortunate acronym generated by that title.  Let’s just say that sex, love, marriage, kids and the whole 9 yards are possible even if you aren’t a size 2.

Finding this out was a very important part of my journey to loving the skin I’m in.  As a young person, a lot of my frantic dieting was driven by panic.  I was terrified that, as a person of size, I wouldn’t or couldn’t find someone to love me.  And even after meeting and falling in love with and marrying the “best man in the whole wide world” I was terrified that he would wake up one day, realize that I’m fat and leave me.

So I’m sharing  this with you as a reminder.  You can find the best partner in the world and even keep that person in your life even if you’re fat.  And whether you are ten pounds over what society calls your “ideal weight” or several hundred, there’s someone out there for you.  Yeah, I know you may have dated a few duds.  Honey, it happens to all of us.  But according to the US Census Bureau, the world has a population of over 7 billion people.  That’s billion with a “b”.  So you met a few potential partners that are less than ideal.  Maybe you’ve dated a baker’s dozen.  So what?  That’s 13 down, and 6,999,999,987 to go.

We need to teach this to our kids and share it with the world “at large”.  Your ability to find, give and receive love is not dependent on your BMI.  And there’s someone out there for every BODY.


The Fat Chick

Thursday Theater: Cats and Treadmills

Okay, here’s the reality.  I love exercise, but I don’t love every form of exercise.  I love dance classes and I love walking outside and I love cross country skiing.  But when it comes to the treadmill, I have a feeling very much like the cats pictured above. “Hit it! HIT IT!”  I hate the treadmill with a deep, abiding passion.  And for me, even five minutes on that thing can feel like torture.

That’s why it’s so important to explore different kinds of exercise before you get too deeply involved in an exercise program.  If the only exercise I ever did was on a treadmill, I would say that I hated exercise.  And if the only exercise I could ever do was on a treadmill, chances are, I would quit.  Because I HATE the treadmill.

That’s why I often say, that exercise is kinda like sex.  If you hate it, chances are, you aren’t doing it right.  You need to try different things, sometimes a LOT of different things until you find the one that is right for you.

So my little Chicklettes, be bold and adventuresome!  Try a new form of fitness in the next few weeks.  Who knows, it may become your favorite.  If not, you can always smack it like the kitties do.


The Fat Chick

Is Exercise Sexy?


The Shake Weight demonstrates the sex/fitness connection, sort of, well not really…

I saw one of those ads for athletic shoes the other day.  You know, one of those ads where a perfectly shaped pert little body, glistening just so with perspiration shows a sexy godess of fitness–and I burst out laughing.  I was giggling because I thought about how different that particular view of fitness is from fitness in my actual, real life.  First of all there is no low mood lighting with special spotlights to highlight the shape of my rear end.  I don’t, as a rule, casually drape a perfectly white fluffy towel over my shoulders.  There’s no semi-pornographic, oom-chicka-mow-mow music playing where I work out.  And there’s nothing that glistens, glows, or gently shines, because girlfriend, I SWEAT. And I think it’s pretty unrealistic that any amount of exercise is gonna make me look like that chick in the advertisement (even if I had the ARMY of stylists and digital re-touchers she’s working with).  So I asked myself, given the huge yawning gulf between the advertising view of fitness and what exercise looks like in my world, is exercise sexy?

Well, I think exercise can be really sexy, but not usually in the way depicted on television.  I think it can be sexy when it’s a kind and wonderful thing that I do for myself.  I don’t think exercise as punishment is particularly sexy (even in a S&M sorta way).  But I think the way that exercise makes me feel, is sexy.  For example:

Improved Self Esteem–Feels Sexy

Stronger Body–Feels Sexy

Better Sleep/Better Rested–Feels Sexy (and more likely to be awake for sex)

Better Stress Management–Feels Sexy (and a lot more in the mood for sex)

And when you come right down to it.  Research indicates that people who exercise regularly have better sex lives.  So is exercise sexy?  Yes, YES, OH GOD YES!!!!! Just don’t expect it to look like it does on TV.


The Fat Chick