Stuff That Weighs More Than Me: Antique Bath

tubIf you are a major bath lover and I am a MAJOR bath lover, you know that antique, claw footed tubs totally rock for long happy soaks.  You also know that these cast iron beauties are heavy–especially when full of water.  You don’t want to put one of these into a bathroom without a reinforced floor!  But they are totally worth the hassle.  Because as far as I am concerned, taking a bath is one of life’s great joys.

My bathtub is a total immersion thinking device.  Seriously, there is something about the warm water and the bubbles that allows my brain to relax.  I have seriously considered adding a “tub time” line item to client invoices, because I get a lot of my very best thinking done in there.

But an antique claw foot tub is not something to be taken lightly.  Getting one of those bad boys up to a second story bathroom is a major, storming-the-Alamo-level undertaking.  Here’s the stats:

Length: 3-5 ft.

Width: 30″

Height: 24″

Capacity: 40-60 gallons

Water Weight: 300-500 lbs.

Tub Weight: 300-400 lbs.

Total Filled Tub Weight: 600-900 lbs.

Conclusion: A claw foot tub filled with warm water and bubbles (of course) weighs more than me.

Size Diversity Soundtrack–300 Pounds of Heavenly Joy

bigtwist

This week, as part of a special project I’m working on, I’ve been exploring some fat positive music.  And my goodness, I had no idea there was so much of it out there!  Makes you want to get out your MP3 player and build an epic playlist of awesomeness.  Or at least start workin’ that YouTube jam.

One of my very favorite fat positive songs and in fact one of my favorite songs of all times is THIS gem from Big Twist and The Mellow Fellows. About 25 years ago, I had the rare privilege of seeing and hearing these guys perform “300 Pounds of Heavenly Joy” live during an outdoor summer event in Milwaukee called Lakefront Festival of the Arts.  I had no idea what size acceptance was in those days.  I just knew I LOVED this song.  I mean, I loved the lyrics:

Hoy, hoy,
Baby I’m your boy
300 pounds of heavenly joy.
I’m so glad that you understand
You’ve got 300 pounds of muscle and man.

This is it,
This is it,
Look what you get!

Now all you girls think your days are done
Don’t worry baby,
You could still have fun.
Take me, baby, for your little boy
Of 300 pounds of heavenly joy.

This is it,
This is it,
Look what you get!

If you’re sneakin’ and hidin’
Then the hidin’s bad.
Then you’ve got a man that you don’t like (Aaah!)
Get that cat, baby, and please me mad
Follow me woman we’ll have a real good time.

This is it,
This is it,
Look what you get!

Hoy, hoy,
Baby I’m your boy
300 pounds of heavenly joy. (Aaah!)
I’m so glad that you understand
You’ve got 300 pounds of muscle and man.

This is it,
This is it,
Look what you get!

 

I also loved that big fat horn section wailing away–building the anticipation for Larry “Big Twist” Nolan’s arrival on stage.  And when I say building, I’m not talking about 4 bars of intro.  I’m talking about 50-60 or more bars sheer blues awesomeness.  Long enough to get the loot, go through the trap door in the stage floor, and head to the car for one of the best car chases EVAR.

And let me tell you what, Mr. Big Twist could really move.  Sporting a 3-piece, white ice cream suit, and a white fedora, the guy was just mesmerizing as he strutted, sweat and basically owned the stage.  As I boogied down in the Milwaukee/Lake Michigan sunshine, I could scarcely have imagined that I would still be rocking to this tune in my aerobics dance classes more than 20 years later.  Lord, Lord, LORDY 20 years. That’s a looonng time ago!  Yikes! I think I just might be gettin’ those old lady blues!

Love,

The Fat Chick

Elephants, Pigs and (land)Whales, Oh my!

ImageSo often, people equate us fat folks with various animals.  We’re compared to a pig or an elephant or a whale (or even the elusive “land whale”).  And usually this comparison is offered as a criticism or as a way to make us feel bad.  But you know what?  Each of those animals is able to do pretty amazing things.  Elephants are large and smart and strong and athletic and beautiful and graceful.  Elephants look great in dresses, are good dancers and can even water ski.  So go ahead and call me an elephant.  Pachyderms are awesome, and they are natural athletes.

Image

And as for pigs, now there are some amazing athletes.  In this ONE VIDEO, you can see a pig who golfs, bowls, plays soccer, jumps hurdles, rides a skateboard, shoots a basket, and pitches a baseball.  And pigs are also smart, independent, sociable and generally awesome!  And as for whales, how many humans do you know who can do this:

Whales are absolutely amazing athletes who can leap and backflip and sing loud enough to be heard for miles.  All in all, whales, pigs and elephants are beautiful, smart, graceful, strong and wonderful creatures.   And land whales?  Since they don’t exist in the real world, I choose to imagine them as awesome too!

The world of nature is full of evidence that creatures can be both large and athletic.  Both big and incredibly graceful.  The only place that fit and fat cannot co-exist is in the minds of certain closed-minded people.  And for that we might want to look at this animal as a reference:

ostrich_sandLove,

The Fat Chick

Spring Chicks

spring_chick

The first day of spring was a while back.  But I have to admit, for me spring starts with Easter.  This is a time of year where I yearn for renewal.  I tend to take a look at my life, see what seems to be working, and figure out how to strengthen those things.  I also take a look at what isn’t working and throw those things out.  Oh, and this is the time of year that I start cleaning like a wild, rabid banshee.  But that’s a different story.

But I think this time of evaluation is so important.  I tend to get really busy and get really focused on finishing the next task on the list.  So it’s really easy for me to lose track of whether or not things should even be on the list.  The older I get, the better I understand that I just can’t do everything I want to do.  I have to prioritize.  I have to choose.

So while I sweep and polish and scrub and throw stuff out, I’m also spending time spring cleaning my life.  A few of this year’s revelations:

1.  Envy can help me figure out what I really want in my life that I am not getting.  But it can also sap me of my strength.  This year, I’d like to hold onto envy just long enough to give me a kick in the pants and help me revise my priorities to focus on getting what I want and then show envy the door.

2.  I also spend more time angry than is really useful.  This year, I’d like to hold onto anger just long enough figure out if it can attach to meaningful action. If there is an action to take I will take it.  Then I will take that anger and just dump it.

3.  I spend way too much time Plants vs. Zombies and Burger Shop 2.  I won’t link to these games because they are like crack cocaine for casual gamers.  Seriously.  This year, I’d like to figure out what scary things in my life I’m avoiding while making virtual burgers and blowing up the undead and then go do those things.

I think you can see, that this year, I feel I need to focus more on action.  I have so many ideas in my head that seem super cool.  But I’ll never really know if they are super cool or kinda stupid until I just go do them.

So how about you?  Got some “spring cleaning” you need to do in your life?  Wanna share?  I’d love to hear from you!  Because sharing time with you is one of my big priorities for 2013 as well.

Love,

The Fat Chick

 

The Right Now Show Episode 009: Finding Support!

In episode 009 of The Right Now Show Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick) shares some tips for finding support in your journey towards loving the skin you’re in and assures you that you’ll get by with a little help from your friends!

Here are some additional resources:

Size Diversity Task Force
Association for Size Diversity and Health
Fit Fatties Forum

Fat Chick Sings Blog
Dances With Fat Blog
The Fat Chick Clique
Live Streamed Classes

Stuff that Weighs More than Me: World’s Largest Chocolate Bunny

chocolatebunny

Sorry for the schedule change kids.  But look at it this way, you’re not just getting the newest episode of “The Right Now Show” late, you’re also getting “Stuff that Weighs More than Me” early.  So look on the bright side.

And once again, for your viewing and imagining pleasure, I bring you a truly massive chocolate sculpture.  I bring you, the world’s largest chocolate bunny!  This guy was created in South Africa by artist Harry Johnson.  Apparently this sculptor is well known for creating sculptures really, really fast, so he was pretty excited about working in chocolate.

Harry says, “This was the first time I have ever worked with chocolate.  I would do it again in a heartbeat! Having worked with so many different materials, I was truly amazed as to what you can actually do with chocolate.”

Me too, Harry.  I am consistently amazed by chocolate.  Which possibly explains why chocolate has made such a frequent appearance on this blog, notably the world’s largest chocolate egg, the world’s largest chocolate kiss, and the world’s largest box of chocolates.  Actually maybe such a large amount of chocolate could turn me off.  World’s  Largest Chocolate Bunny (WLCB) co-creator Mark Fruhauf admits:   

“At the moment, I don’t like chocolate at all.  After that sweetness and working so intimately with chocolate for three days and that smell, no.  I’ve got to say I have a chocolate lying on my desk and I don’t want to touch it.”

So perhaps there is help for my unbridled desire for chocolate after all…

The world’s largest chocolate bunny was created in three days.  It contained an inner structure of powder-coated steel.  And here’s the stats:

Height: 12 feet, 5 inches (3.82 meters)

Weight: Over 3 tons

Conclusion: The World’s Largest Chocolate Bunny weighs more than me.

How to Dress When You’re a Fatty

BethDitto

I was so excited this week to see this piece outlining some “fashion rules” from Beth Ditto.  Now here’s a woman who has created her own fierce style and is not going to let anybody else dictate how she should look.

But everywhere you look, there are people out there lining up to give fat people advice about what to wear (and not wear.)  Don’t wear horizontal stripes.  Wear black.  Wear Spanx.  Don’t forget your high heels.  Wear A-line dresses.  Don’t wear halter dresses.  There are so many thin people eager to tell us fatties how to “camouflage” our bumps and rolls to make us look “more acceptable” and at least “three sizes smaller”.  Well, I call bull cookies on that nonsense.  We don’t have to camouflage a single thing, baby. You know what we fat people should actually wear?  We should wear whatever on earth we want.  We should wear big horizontal red stripes and mini skirts and tube tops and sequins and blue jeans and white cotton–whatever makes us feel good.  Because I believe that an important part of “being the boss of our own underpants” as Ragen Chastain so wonderfully describes it, is deciding which underpants we want to wear.  Cotton granny panties.  Fine.  Hipsters, bikinis, french cuts, tangas and thongs?  Yes, of course!  You get to choose whatever panties make your fanny happy.

That’s not to say fat fashion isn’t challenging sometimes.  This week, I also ran across this delightful tumbler feed called “WTF Plus Size Clothing Manufacturers” that calls out clothing retailers and fashion designers for some of the more disastrous offerings hung on the plus-size clothing racks.  This wonderful site allows you to laugh through your tears as you contemplate some of the desperately ugly things that make up the limited choices available in plus-sized clothing.  There’s no question that us larger folks have fewer choices when it comes to fashion. And we are usually asked to pay more.  Sometimes we are asked to pay a LOT more.

So yes, it can be challenging to pull together a look that expresses your own unique and personal style without creating a credit card bill that arrives like the angel of death at the end of the month.  Sometimes it can be a real challenge to find just the right outfit to fill your heart with glee.  Maybe you’re just a person who doesn’t care that much about clothes and shoes and jewelry and hats and purses and stuff–which is also totally cool.

Just remember, that at the end of the day, the only rules of style that need concern you are the rules that you create for yourself.  Oh, and if you’re going to be the boss of your own underpants, make sure they are FABULOUS!

Love,

The Fat Chick

After Happily Ever After…

Watching this video really got me thinking.  It’s hilarious and awesome because it ties into something we all so desperately want to believe.  We want to believe in happily ever after.  We want to believe that once we achieve that one thing, after we reach perfection, then everything will always be okay from that point on forever, amen.  Right?  It starts with the whole princesses thing, and then for many of us, it becomes the whole weight thing.

I spent many years indulging in “happily thin ever after” thinking.  I believed that once I was thin, insanely rich and handsome men would swoop by in super yachts and pick me up and take me off to James Bond-style vacations (without the sorta violent parts) in exotic places.  I dreamed that academy award-winning directors, stunned by my new svelte beauty, would discover me in a local Starbucks and offer me a three picture deal. But mostly I dreamed that I wouldn’t feel self-conscious any more, I would always feel fabulous about how I looked and that I would then have the courage to do anything I needed to achieve my dreams.

And then for a while, I got thin.  And you know what?  Absolutely none of the stuff that I believed in my happily ever after fantasy came true.  None of it.  No yachts. Not even a canoe.  No vacations to exotic places–violent or otherwise.  No three-picture deal.  (Although I did get a latte…)  And I still felt self-conscious, and unhappy about my looks and fearful and all of that stuff.  I still wasn’t equipped to do everything I needed to achieve my dreams.  I still felt miserable a lot of the time.  And I thought, “What a rip off!” I was pretty annoyed that the whole getting thin thing was not as advertised.  I mean I was averaging 700-800 calories per day.  My hair was falling out.  My digestive system was no longer working properly.  I was no longer menstruating.  I was exercising 2+ hours per day.  And you know what, I was THIN.  But the awesomeness I expected, just didn’t happen.  I did have more places to shop for clothes but not more money to use for that purpose.  I did have less trouble dealing with doctors, relatives and complete strangers who no longer felt it necessary to have “concerned conversations” with me about my weight.  And for a while, I got a ton of positive attention from friends and family.  And then it became like no big deal.  I didn’t get positive attention any more.  I got tired of feeling sick and tired all the time.  And I just wanted to EAT!  After over 12 months of this crazy regimen, my metabolism tanked to the point that I was gaining weight at 1,000 calories per day.  So not surprisingly, I gained it all back and then some.

Society promises us that when we are thin, our lives will be perfect and exciting beyond our wildest imagination.  Many of us who experience becoming thin (temporarily or otherwise) find ourselves totally unprepared for finding out the truth about being thin.  The truth being that most of our problems are still with us, and our wildest imaginations go a long, long way beyond the lives that we experience as thin people.  I was so moved when I read this account of a woman who had lost a lot of weight after weight loss surgery.  Not surprisingly, she experienced an intense letdown when she realized the wonderful, perfect life she was promised in the doctor’s office never really materialized.  And she was also completely unprepared for the loss of her sense of identity and her sense of self that can come with such a dramatic change in the shape of your body.

I am sure there are those out there who are eager to tell me that it is our fault we don’t experience the perfection that comes with weight loss.  We weren’t thin long enough.  We didn’t get thin the right way.  We didn’t use the right products or achieve the correct level of enlightenment.  But you know what?  I don’t think there is any magic bullet that makes life perfect.  I don’t believe that there is a moment after which you live happily ever after.  I like to believe I’ve reached a moment after which I have a reasonably good chance of being happy a lot of the time.  I like to believe that I’ve reached a stage where I feel reasonably content in my body and am equipped to make the best of what life has to throw at me.  But happily ever after is a fantasy I’ve happily learned to outgrow.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Why I am NOT Shopping at CVS

Employees of "Gattica" surrender a drop of blood for analysis before starting work each day.

Employees of “Gattica” surrender a drop of blood for analysis before starting work each day.

There’s been an awful lot of talk lately about CVS and their recent decisions regarding health care for their workers.  It seems that CVS has implemented a policy that states that employees have a choice between submitting to a health screening or paying $600 more per year in health insurance premiums.  The screening (paid for by CVS) will measure several “health metrics” including blood pressure, blood glucose levels, cholesterol, height, weight and BMI.  Apparently this information will then be turned over to a third party.  What we don’t know is what the third party plans to do with this information and how the third party and/or CVS will use this information to help their employees be any healthier.  I submit that helping employees be healthier really has nothing to do with it.

Look, if you want to give your employees incentives to see their doctors twice a year–fine.  Regular checkups with your doctor make sense.  They help employees manage health and catch problems early.  But I can think of no reason why handing this information over to anyone other than your own doctor will do anything to improve your health.  Not one.

The only reason to hand this information over is so that a company–be it CVS or a mysterious “third party company” can start harassing you for being in a “higher risk” category.  That harassment may come in the form of emails or phone calls.  That harassment may come in the form of additional payments you need to make as long as you stay in a “higher risk” category.  And believe me, the quotation marks are deliberate when I say “higher risk” category.

Every single one of these metrics has a strong, and I mean STRONG genetic component.  They are not measures of behavior or lifestyle.  They are statistics about bodies.  Lifestyle may be a component of having diabetes in some people.  Some people are simply born with a very high disposition to diabetes.  So you may have two people, one diabetic and one not who engage in extremely similar lifestyles with very different outcomes.  The same is true of cholesterol levels and blood pressure.  So how is this not a Gattica style punishment of people who were born with less than perfect genes?  How much longer before, like in the movie, we will be forced to leave a drop of blood in the scanner before starting work every morning?

And then there’s the question of collecting height, weight and BMI data.  Despite the overwhelming evidence that BMI, height and weight do not serve as accurate measures of personal health, we are still collecting this data.  Why?  I’ll tell you why.  Because fat people are discriminated against in this country.  Fat people are blamed for everything in the US from rising health care costs to rising prices on airlines.  If you have to look to a socially acceptable scapegoat on which to visit higher health insurance prices, you will choose the fatties.  Don’t believe me?  Just check out the comments section of any news story covering this decision by CVS.  They are universally full of righteous thin people talking about how those fatties are driving everybody’s costs up and deserve to be punished “for their own good”.

Some argue that insurance companies already charge smokers more money.  But let me be very clear about this.  Smoking is a behavior.  You can choose to smoke or not to smoke.  You don’t need to smoke to survive.  Weight and BMI are characteristics.  You CAN NOT determine what a person eats, how much they exercise or how healthy they are by looking at their BMI.  All you know is the proportion of their height to their weight, and the proportion of extra costs and stigma it is socially acceptable to heap upon that person.

Other risk behaviors are notoriously expensive and difficult to monitor.  Behaviors like drinking, not sleeping enough, distracted driving, uncontrolled stress, not looking before you cross the street and skydiving cannot be measured with a 10 second test in a doctor’s office.

So to reiterate, why are we using weight and BMI to measure a persons health risk rather than behaviors?

1.  Unless you actually watch a person or test a person all the time, it is difficult to know whether they are telling you the truth about stated behaviors.

2.  BMI and weight, while poor proxies for real data about health require only extremely easy and inexpensive tests to determine.

3.  It is socially acceptable in our country to blame fat people for anything and everything.

This is why I will no longer shop at CVS.  They have chosen to pass insurance costs on to those who may or may not engage in higher risk behavior than their co-workers but are probably less genetically blessed than their co-workers.  And they are already passing health care costs on to those of us who are already discriminated against when seeking a job and are already payed less than those of us who are thin.  It’s not okay with me.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Stuff That Weighs More Than Me: Edible Hotel Made of Cake!

Edible hotel-1773351YAY this marks my 400th blog post.  Woo Hoo! Let’s break out the bubbly!  And you know what goes great with champagne?  Cake!

Look out Hansel and Gretel, what we have here is an entire hotel made entirely of cake!  With walls and rugs made from homemade cookies, treasure chests created of marzipan and window sills made of fudge this is one suite with a serious sweet tooth!  This hotel within a hotel is located in central London.  It took an army of 14 chefs over 2,000 hours to bake and over 900 hours decorate the confection which includes windows and walls created from over 2,000 macaroons and a multicolored rug fashioned from 1,801 meringues.

The eight tasting rooms contain a variety of special features including a Caribbean-inspired room with a treasure chest with edible pearls and a South Pacific-inspired room complete with a Easter Island statue made entirely of chocolate mud cake which stands over two meters high!

It’s difficult to estimate the entire weight, but here are a few stats:

1. Number of rooms: 8

2.  Marshmallow Garlands: 20 kilos (over 40 lbs.)

3.  Edible Bunting: 10 meters long (over 30 ft.)

4.  Sugar used in the project: Over 600 Kilos (Over 1,322 pounds)

Conclusion: The Soho London Hotel made completely out of cake weighs more than me!