Tag Archives: James Bond

After Happily Ever After…

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Watching this video really got me thinking.  It’s hilarious and awesome because it ties into something we all so desperately want to believe.  We want to believe in happily ever after.  We want to believe that once we achieve that one thing, after we reach perfection, then everything will always be okay from that point on forever, amen.  Right?  It starts with the whole princesses thing, and then for many of us, it becomes the whole weight thing.

I spent many years indulging in “happily thin ever after” thinking.  I believed that once I was thin, insanely rich and handsome men would swoop by in super yachts and pick me up and take me off to James Bond-style vacations (without the sorta violent parts) in exotic places.  I dreamed that academy award-winning directors, stunned by my new svelte beauty, would discover me in a local Starbucks and offer me a three picture deal. But mostly I dreamed that I wouldn’t feel self-conscious any more, I would always feel fabulous about how I looked and that I would then have the courage to do anything I needed to achieve my dreams.

And then for a while, I got thin.  And you know what?  Absolutely none of the stuff that I believed in my happily ever after fantasy came true.  None of it.  No yachts. Not even a canoe.  No vacations to exotic places–violent or otherwise.  No three-picture deal.  (Although I did get a latte…)  And I still felt self-conscious, and unhappy about my looks and fearful and all of that stuff.  I still wasn’t equipped to do everything I needed to achieve my dreams.  I still felt miserable a lot of the time.  And I thought, “What a rip off!” I was pretty annoyed that the whole getting thin thing was not as advertised.  I mean I was averaging 700-800 calories per day.  My hair was falling out.  My digestive system was no longer working properly.  I was no longer menstruating.  I was exercising 2+ hours per day.  And you know what, I was THIN.  But the awesomeness I expected, just didn’t happen.  I did have more places to shop for clothes but not more money to use for that purpose.  I did have less trouble dealing with doctors, relatives and complete strangers who no longer felt it necessary to have “concerned conversations” with me about my weight.  And for a while, I got a ton of positive attention from friends and family.  And then it became like no big deal.  I didn’t get positive attention any more.  I got tired of feeling sick and tired all the time.  And I just wanted to EAT!  After over 12 months of this crazy regimen, my metabolism tanked to the point that I was gaining weight at 1,000 calories per day.  So not surprisingly, I gained it all back and then some.

Society promises us that when we are thin, our lives will be perfect and exciting beyond our wildest imagination.  Many of us who experience becoming thin (temporarily or otherwise) find ourselves totally unprepared for finding out the truth about being thin.  The truth being that most of our problems are still with us, and our wildest imaginations go a long, long way beyond the lives that we experience as thin people.  I was so moved when I read this account of a woman who had lost a lot of weight after weight loss surgery.  Not surprisingly, she experienced an intense letdown when she realized the wonderful, perfect life she was promised in the doctor’s office never really materialized.  And she was also completely unprepared for the loss of her sense of identity and her sense of self that can come with such a dramatic change in the shape of your body.

I am sure there are those out there who are eager to tell me that it is our fault we don’t experience the perfection that comes with weight loss.  We weren’t thin long enough.  We didn’t get thin the right way.  We didn’t use the right products or achieve the correct level of enlightenment.  But you know what?  I don’t think there is any magic bullet that makes life perfect.  I don’t believe that there is a moment after which you live happily ever after.  I like to believe I’ve reached a moment after which I have a reasonably good chance of being happy a lot of the time.  I like to believe that I’ve reached a stage where I feel reasonably content in my body and am equipped to make the best of what life has to throw at me.  But happily ever after is a fantasy I’ve happily learned to outgrow.

Love,

The Fat Chick

The Right Now! Show: On the Size Diversity Task Force

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This week on episode 2 of “The Right Now Show with Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick) I’ll be talking about a fabulous activism project created by the Size Diversity Task Force (of which I am a proud member).  The Size Diversity Task Force is asking folks to “liberate” diet books from thrift shops and rummage sales and donate the pages to the SDTF.  The group will then take the pages and use them to create a world-record breaking paper-mache sculpture!  You can learn more about it here:
http://sizediversitytaskforce.wordpress.com/paper-mache-in-a-big-big-way/

Oh and if you’d like to win extra special bonus points and save the planet while you’re liberating diet books, check out this video created by Julianne Wotasik and Ragen Chastain:

I had so much fun working on this trailer.  And I liberated over 1,500 pages for the cause just in one day!  It was easy!  Thanks so much for your interest in the show.  Remember, I’m collecting ideas for future shows so drop me an email at jeanette at thefatchick dot com to let me know what you’d like me to talk about.

And to make sure you don’t miss a single episode of The Right Now! Show, don’t forget to subscribe to this channel.

Thanks!
Jeanette DePatie
AKA The Fat Chick
http://www.thefatchick.com

P.S. Tonight I’ll also be doing a Teleseminar with Anne Cuthbert.  You can sign up for free right HERE! I’ll be speaking at 5:00 PM (PST) and I can’t wait to take your questions about how to set up fitness resolutions that won’t leave you sad, sick, injured or dead!

How You Should REALLY Use Your Digtial Scale

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In honor of our secret agent week, I couldn’t resist this happy little photo.  So many of us allow the scale to be our evil nemesis.  We step into its bathroom secret lair and allow the number listed on it to determine whether we’re having a good day or a bad day.  We step up to it frightened, contrite and naked (unadorned even with jewelry) and allow it to determine whether we’re a good person or not.  Ninja kitteh says, “unless you’re using it as a secret agent paw print scanning device, just put it away already.  I don’t let any silly piece of hardware make me cry.”

Good advice kitteh.  Good advice.

Stuff that Weighs More than Me: Giant Hovercraft

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In keeping with this week’s James Bond theme, I recently watched “Diamonds are Forever”.  My husband had yet another opportunity to wonder about my sanity this week as I jumped up in the middle of the movie and pointed at the screen.  “Just LOOK at that giant hovercraft!” I cried.  “I’ll bet that thing weighs more than me!”  He rolled his eyes. “Yup, I’m sure it’s as blog worthy as it is sea worthy,”  he said.  “Now will you sit down so we can watch the rest of the movie?”

I did a little research and I discovered that the giant hovercraft does indeed weigh quite a lot.  The one featured in the film is an SR.N4 (Mark I) and is one of the largest commercial hovercraft ever built.  This one was the Princess Margaret (of British Rail’s Seaspeed)  and it initially operated between Dover and Boulogne.

Built by the British Hovercraft Corporation, the Princess Margaret was designed to ferry people and automobiles from Britain to Continental Europe.  She operated from 1968 until 2000 (when the abolition of Duty Free made the service unprofitable).  You still visit the Princess Margaret at the Hovercraft Museum.

At the time of the shooting, the hovercraft was a Mark I.  It was later converted to a Mark III.  Any way you slice it, the Princess Margaret was a big girl.  Here’s the specs:

Length: 39.68 meters (130 feet)

Beam: 23.77 meters (77 feet)

Height: 11.48 meters (on landing pad) 37 feet

Power Source: 4 x 3,400 shp Rolls-Royce Proteus Gas turbines

Load: 250 passengers and 30 cars

Weight: 165 tons

Conclusion: The Princess Margaret Mark I Hovercraft weighs more than me.

R.A.W.R.–Random Acts of Weightloss-industry Rebellion

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In light of this week’s James Bond/Secret Agent theme, I’ve been thinking about some specific revolutionary maneuvers of my own. Recently the “Screaming MeMeMe!” has helped to clarify what we’re up against. There’s a whole lot of hate out there my little chicklettes. But both you and I have the power to be a force for good. And there are so many ways that we can act up and cause trouble for those who sow hate.

Now not everybody is ready to be as public in their rebellion as those who participated in Marilyn Wann’s I Stand campaign, or those delightfully awesome folks who are gaining supervillian status over on Red No. 3 as Agents of Obesity.  Or even those who participated in the Kiss-In to protest Marie Claire’s nasty article.

But that’s okay, because there are plenty of covert operations you can participate in as well.  One of my favorites is NAAFA LA’s bookmark campaign where they print out body  positive bookmarks and slip them into diet books in libraries and bookstores.  And of course NAAFA LA’s Big Fat Flea Market is also an act of positive rebellion in quietly asserting that people of all sizes deserve to look fabulous at reasonable prices.  And I love the post-it note campaign at Operation Beautiful, where folks are encouraged to post body-positive notes on public restroom and dressing room mirrors.

There are so many ways to be quietly positive in a world that shuns us and shames us.  Sometimes it’s simply a matter of saying something nice to someone trying on a pretty dress at a department store, sometimes it’s about leaving a NAAFA brochure at a weight loss clinic, often it’s about just being you as hard as you can.  So my little chickies, lets think this week about how you can perpetuate so R.A.W.R.  And enjoy the secret thrill of making the world just a little better and a little safer for every BODY.

Love,

The Fat Chick

I expect you to DIE(T) Mr. Bond.

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My husband and I have been watching a lot of vintage James Bond lately.  So  this morning when I was trying to decide what to write in my blog, I have to confess the above scene popped into my head.  Except to James Bond’s query, “So do you expect me to talk?” Goldfinger’s reply IN MY HEAD was “No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to diet!”  It’s always an interesting morning when your hubby rolls over in bed and asks you what you’re giggling about.

It led to an exceptionally silly line of thinking wherein I imagined what the secret evil lair of the weight loss industry would look like.  I wondered, could the weight loss industry qualify for James Bond nemesis format?  Let’s see:

  1. Impossibly thin, conventionally beautiful babes working as a front for the organization? Check.
  2. Attempted world domination by bankrupting various segments of the population? Check.
  3.  Perpetuation of male-dominated societal stereotypes? Check.
  4. Organization selling something completely different than what is outwardly offered? Check.
  5. Organization offering products that are inherently dangerous to the population?  Check.
  6. Organization infiltrating other society groups including not for profits for financial gain?  Check!

Yup, the weight loss industry (on the whole) qualifies for a secret evil lair.  And with over $60 Billion per year in revenue (that’s Billion with a “B”) there’s a lot of money to work with.  Surely they could afford a hollowed out volcano or two.  There’s probably even enough left over for a private submarine entrance and a tank with sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads.

And the prospects for the world weight loss industry as an evil empire look frankly, pretty good.  After all weight bias is extremely useful:

  1. Government running out of money?  Being forced to cut popular social programs?  Blame fat people! Prescribe weight loss.
  2. Company benefits program cutting into CEO’s yacht fund?  Threaten to cut benefits without weight loss.
  3. Faced with diagnosing a difficult condition or disease?  Prescribe weight loss.
  4. Health insurance costs spiraling out of control?  Government deadlocked regarding solutions?  Blame fat people!  Prescribe weight loss.
  5. Can’t balance a city budget?  Arbitrarily single out inexpensive foods, make them illegal, and prescribe weight loss.

Yup, all that’s left to do is pick out the sexy mid century modern furniture and come up with naughty double entendre names for the front office girls.

Because our governments don’t want us to talk, they just want us to die(t).

Love,

The Fat Chick