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Haters Gonna Hate

When you’re THIS awesome, some people just can’t handle it!

Yesterday, in our talk about stepping out, we discussed the notion that often you don’t know what’s in a person’s head, so you might as well imagine they are thinking well of you. But what happens when you think somebody is mean spirited and nasty and then they open their big mouths and remove all doubt?

In our not so genteel society, sometimes people are going to say nasty things.  If they don’t say them to you in person, they will certainly say them online in comments or on Facebook.  They may moo as you walk past or yell something like, “Just put down the cheeseburger!”  At some point in life it happens to all of us.

And that’s really the first step to recognizing that it happens to all of us.  Short, tall, round, thin–everybody gets something nasty yelled at them at some point.  Heck you can’t even be the president without worrying about somebody throwing a shoe at you.  The amazing Ragen Chastain gets so much nastiness thrown at her, she created a separate blog to contain some of the more ridiculous comments.  And even if you were model thin, and rich, and drove a fancy car, people would find reasons to hate on you.  Maybe they would find even more.

That’s because, believe it or not, the actions of haters really have nothing to do with you.  It’s about them.  It’s about them feeling jealous or inadequate or lonely or insecure.  It’s about them desperately trying to recapture their lost mojo by peeing in your pool.  And since you can’t fix the whole world, sometimes you just gotta accept that haters are gonna hate.  Bless them, and move on.  Sometimes I talk to them and give them a piece of my mind first if I’m feeling feisty.  But ultimately, after I’ve had my talk with them, I say, “Bless their hearts” and then move on.

Is it easy?  Oh my goodness, no.  It’s really hard.  And I know sometimes all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.  But then, from a practical standpoint, I really don’t want to let that hater win.  I don’t want to reenforce that crappy behavior, and I don’t want to give that creep that kind of power over me.  So when I feel down, I go read Ragen’s hate mail and realize I’m not alone.  I call a good friend, get dressed up and go have coffee or an adult beverage somewhere fabulous.  I pull out my positive artwork and read some of the great things my friends have recently said online.

Because at the end of the day, my little chicklettes, you can only control your reaction to the world.  You can only focus on being fiercely and completely yourself.  Because at the end of the day, haters are gonna hate.


The Fat Chick

I expect you to DIE(T) Mr. Bond.

My husband and I have been watching a lot of vintage James Bond lately.  So  this morning when I was trying to decide what to write in my blog, I have to confess the above scene popped into my head.  Except to James Bond’s query, “So do you expect me to talk?” Goldfinger’s reply IN MY HEAD was “No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to diet!”  It’s always an interesting morning when your hubby rolls over in bed and asks you what you’re giggling about.

It led to an exceptionally silly line of thinking wherein I imagined what the secret evil lair of the weight loss industry would look like.  I wondered, could the weight loss industry qualify for James Bond nemesis format?  Let’s see:

  1. Impossibly thin, conventionally beautiful babes working as a front for the organization? Check.
  2. Attempted world domination by bankrupting various segments of the population? Check.
  3.  Perpetuation of male-dominated societal stereotypes? Check.
  4. Organization selling something completely different than what is outwardly offered? Check.
  5. Organization offering products that are inherently dangerous to the population?  Check.
  6. Organization infiltrating other society groups including not for profits for financial gain?  Check!

Yup, the weight loss industry (on the whole) qualifies for a secret evil lair.  And with over $60 Billion per year in revenue (that’s Billion with a “B”) there’s a lot of money to work with.  Surely they could afford a hollowed out volcano or two.  There’s probably even enough left over for a private submarine entrance and a tank with sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads.

And the prospects for the world weight loss industry as an evil empire look frankly, pretty good.  After all weight bias is extremely useful:

  1. Government running out of money?  Being forced to cut popular social programs?  Blame fat people! Prescribe weight loss.
  2. Company benefits program cutting into CEO’s yacht fund?  Threaten to cut benefits without weight loss.
  3. Faced with diagnosing a difficult condition or disease?  Prescribe weight loss.
  4. Health insurance costs spiraling out of control?  Government deadlocked regarding solutions?  Blame fat people!  Prescribe weight loss.
  5. Can’t balance a city budget?  Arbitrarily single out inexpensive foods, make them illegal, and prescribe weight loss.

Yup, all that’s left to do is pick out the sexy mid century modern furniture and come up with naughty double entendre names for the front office girls.

Because our governments don’t want us to talk, they just want us to die(t).


The Fat Chick