haters gonna hate |

Warning, the bulk of this blog post (#450!) is likely to make you really, really mad. If you don’t want to be mad today, might I suggest you refer to fluffy kitty picture above. You can read his caption, “haters gonna hate,” and come to the same conclusion without needing to view a smug, stupid video ad from a smug stupid gym. You’ve been warned.

For those of you who are moving on, I was on a site featuring “funny ads” and I came across this gem:

Oh my goodness. He’s “fat” (but not really). His pants button popped off with SUCH FORCE it hit that poor, gorgeous woman in the head and killed her. Which, is like of course perfect, because you know, fat kills.

You see what I did there?

Do you think for one minute that this ad really cares about the fate of fat people? Because I sure don’t. I think this ad is for skinny people. It reminds them that fat people are the “punch line”, are the butt of the joke, are worthy of scorn. It reminds them that fat people are justifiable targets because, you know, health and stuff. It says, go to the gym and get skinny or we’ll target you next. And it will be okay, it won’t be morally reprehensible to target you, because, you know, health and stuff.

We know that shame doesn’t work. Shame does not get fat people to exercise, or eat well, or change their habits in any positive way. Even if fat people could statistically become thin people (which mostly they can’t) fat people wouldn’t do that because of this ad.

But this ad is not about shame. This ad is about fear. “Come join our elite gym so you can remain one of the ones with thin privilege. OMG you don’t want to become one of those icky fat people do you? Ewwww!”

What we know, is that in and of itself, fat doesn’t kill. Overweight people live statistically as long as thin people and obese people who engage in healthy behavior live statistically as long and about as well as thin people who engage in the same behaviors.

What we also know is that fat hatred kills. It kills because of the stress and the prejudice. It kills because fat people are afraid to go to the doctor. It kills because we are misdiagnosed when we get there.

The ad says, fat kills, kill fat. I think it’s not such a stretch to convert this to what is actually meant, “say fat kills, and you’ll kill fat people.” But the ad is okay, because you know, funny.

Not.

If you want to exercise, do that. Dance, hop, swing, play, skip and do whatever makes your heart happy! But I for one, don’t plan to give any money to an organization that teaches people how to hate me.

Love,

The Fat Chick

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When you’re THIS awesome, some people just can’t handle it!

Yesterday, in our talk about stepping out, we discussed the notion that often you don’t know what’s in a person’s head, so you might as well imagine they are thinking well of you. But what happens when you think somebody is mean spirited and nasty and then they open their big mouths and remove all doubt?

In our not so genteel society, sometimes people are going to say nasty things. If they don’t say them to you in person, they will certainly say them online in comments or on Facebook. They may moo as you walk past or yell something like, “Just put down the cheeseburger!” At some point in life it happens to all of us.

And that’s really the first step to recognizing that it happens to all of us. Short, tall, round, thin–everybody gets something nasty yelled at them at some point. Heck you can’t even be the president without worrying about somebody throwing a shoe at you. The amazing Ragen Chastain gets so much nastiness thrown at her, she created a separate blog to contain some of the more ridiculous comments. And even if you were model thin, and rich, and drove a fancy car, people would find reasons to hate on you. Maybe they would find even more.

That’s because, believe it or not, the actions of haters really have nothing to do with you. It’s about them. It’s about them feeling jealous or inadequate or lonely or insecure. It’s about them desperately trying to recapture their lost mojo by peeing in your pool. And since you can’t fix the whole world, sometimes you just gotta accept that haters are gonna hate. Bless them, and move on. Sometimes I talk to them and give them a piece of my mind first if I’m feeling feisty. But ultimately, after I’ve had my talk with them, I say, “Bless their hearts” and then move on.

Is it easy? Oh my goodness, no. It’s really hard. And I know sometimes all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. But then, from a practical standpoint, I really don’t want to let that hater win. I don’t want to reenforce that crappy behavior, and I don’t want to give that creep that kind of power over me. So when I feel down, I go read Ragen’s hate mail and realize I’m not alone. I call a good friend, get dressed up and go have coffee or an adult beverage somewhere fabulous. I pull out my positive artwork and read some of the great things my friends have recently said online.

Because at the end of the day, my little chicklettes, you can only control your reaction to the world. You can only focus on being fiercely and completely yourself. Because at the end of the day, haters are gonna hate.

Love,

The Fat Chick