Tag Archives: Ragen Chastain

Fit Fatties Across America–California, Baby!

Well hello out there. I’m so very proud to announce we have reached my home state, California in the Fit Fatties Across America project founded by myself and the amazing Ragen Chastain! We’ve walked, shimmied, swum, cycled and boogied across this great country of ours for a total of over 2,500 miles! And it’s only just March. It’s just so darn exciting to see what we can do together.

I’m especially excited about the way that we are busting stereotypes with this cool project. Many people hold the prejudice that if fat people never exercise. They think we just sit on the sofa all day eating bon bons. (What the heck IS a bon bon anyway?) But our mighty group of plus-sized exercisers have racked up over 2,500 miles in just over eight weeks. It’s a testament to the power of the Health At Every Size approach to wellness, and it’s super fun!

Aside from the Fit Fatties Across America project, the Fit Fatties Forum is a great way to be inspired by exercisers of ALL sizes. Our forum currently boasts over 1,500 members as well as over 350 fabulous photos of fat people dancing, swimming, cycling, shimmying, lifting very heavy things, aiming arrows, and flashing some flaming hula hoops! The pictures are amazing. What a fabulous, myth busting, stigma shattering resource for men and women of all sizes!

Now, my loyal readers, I’d like to enlist your help. Some of us local California peeps are planning to meet at the beach to do the final leg of the Fit Fatties Across America project together on Saturday, March 19. But that means that as a group, we need to clock just over 200 miles in the next two weeks. Will you help us get there? If you’re not already a member of the Fit Fatties Forum, would you consider joining? It’s totally FREE! And if you’re already a member of the Fit Fatties Forum, would you consider entering your exercise totals for the next two weeks so we can reach our goal? And if you are a member of the Fit Fatties who lives in the LA area, would you consider joining us on March 19 to finish the last few miles of this great project together live, and in person? Let’s dip our toes in the big blue ocean together! Let’s show ’em just what a few fatties can do!

Love,

The Fat Chick

A Fatty Affair 2013 was Off the Hook!

3 Replies

If, like me, you were privileged enough to go to A Fatty Affair last weekend, I imagine you are still basking in the afterglow of what can only be called a massively cool rad fatty event. If you didn’t get to go, I’m sorry. But you can still view the clip above to get an idea of just how much awesome and win was experienced by all.

There was singing and dancing. There was talk about sex. There was home-baked yummy desserts. There were hula hoops. There were butt bounces. There was laughing and playing and more fabulous clothes for swapping than you can even imagine.

Kudos go out to Sarah Redman and her entire planning committee for creating such an uplifting, warm and positive event. I can’t wait for next year! Thankfully, Sarah has informed us that they plan on doing even more events in the coming year. If you want to stay on top of all the stuff this great group is cooking up, check out their web site.

This weekend reminded me once again, just how powerful community can be. I think at one time or another all of us feel like we are all alone in our journey towards self acceptance. But there’s no reason to go it alone. In addition to the Fatty Affair folks, there’s the Size Diversity Task Force (who has already collected over 15,000 pages towards the Paper Mache in a Big, Big Way project), ASDAH, The Fat Chick Clique and The Fit Fatties Forum (who have reached the Rockies in their jaunt across the USA). Don’t worry if one particular group is too far away or doesn’t fit your style. There are amazing size acceptance groups everywhere! So don’t try to do it all by yourself. Share or be square!

Love,

The Fat Chick

I want to be the chubby mouse with the big fat brain.

2 Replies

Isn’t it interesting how so many people who have never met us are nevertheless quite sure they know exactly what we want? I have been inspired by a number of amazing posts by fellow HAES experts this week that talk about the notion that no matter what the cost, we all want to be thin.

It all started with Ragen Chastain’s amazing post about the notion of having a “fat brain”. She talks about the various “experts” she’s run into who promise that being fat is simply a state of mind. These experts tell us that if we just get our mind right, we’ll be thin. And I have to state, I’ve run into a fair share of folk who have suggested the same thing to me. I remember sitting through a lecture during one of my fitness certifications where the leaders decided to go off book. They drew a stick person on the board with a hole in the center. They said that fat people eat because they have a hole in their lives that they need to fill with food. They suggested that once these poor fat folks figured out where the “empty spot” was and learned to fill it with something other than food, they would be thin. I wish I could say that I stood up at that moment and asked the leaders where the “hole” was in my fat body, because I sure couldn’t see it. I think I was too angry and freaked out to stand up at that moment. (And in retrospect, maybe asking a fitness instructor to help me find my “hole” wasn’t such a good idea after all. And in light of the proposed medicalized bulimia apparatus a new “hole” may wind up in the future of quite a few fat folk.) I seethed the entire weekend and ultimately wrote a scathingly bad review and called the district supervisor. But the message of these misguided teachers was nevertheless quite clear. I had a fat body because I had a fat brain. And nobody wants a fat brain, right?

Except, I kinda do. Because you know what? Brains are made up of mostly water and fat. And we can argue on and on about the type of fat that is in our brains. But no matter how you slice it, a scrawny, skinny brain is not the very best for thinkin’. I like my fat brain. In fact, I might even want to plump that bad boy up a little. So score 0 for the folks who felt quite confident they could read my chubby little mind.

On to the next cyberbump on this topic, this time delivered by the always amazing Dr. Deah Schwartz. It seems she was pretty upset about the last line found in this article discussing how endocrine disruptors have been shown to cause obesity in mice. The article begins with a picture of two mice–one skinny and one fat and ends with the line, “After all, which mouse would we rather look like?” Clearly the author believes that no one would rather look like the more rotund rodent. Just like nobody could possibly want a fat brain. Except, I’m not so sure. I think the tubby mouse actually looks a little cuter. And since this mouse study seems to indicate that mice who are on a diet seem to be depressed all the time, I think I’d prefer to look like the fluffier little fella.

Look. If you wanna be my lover (or friend or collegue), don’t assume you know what I want. Don’t assume that I am eager to meet your aesthetic standards for the way I look or what I eat or how I hope to be. If you want to know, ask. Then I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want. The answer just might be something completely different than you originally thought.

Love,

The Fat Chick.

P.S. Tune in to the blog tomorrow for the next episode of my new YouTube show: “Right Now! with Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick). And don’t miss the telesummit I”m doing with Anne Cuthbert tomorrow about setting safe, healthy and happy exercise goals. And finally don’t forget to add your minutes and miles to the Fit Fatties Across America form. Help us get all the way to San Jose in time for A Fatty Affair on Saturday! We’ve got 1,300 miles to go, so enter your time and your miles today!

Setting Boundaries to Get Through the Holidays

1 Reply

When Ragen Chastain put out the call to record this amazing new song she created, I just KNEW I had to do it. So I fired up the video camera, lit the fire, plugged in the tiny Christmas tree and got to it. It was so much fun!

I know that for many of us, the holidays are a scary time. Sometimes our family while meaning well, can inadvertently be extremely hurtful. And for many of us, holiday family gatherings can bring up a sense of dread.

I am very lucky that this is no longer the case for me. My family is extremely supportive of all that I do. (My Mom edited my book!) There was a time long ago when my family’s concern over my weight was hard for me. Ever since I learned to set boundaries and to clearly articulate what I needed, I haven’t really had a problem with them. Sometimes you have to help people understand how you’d like them to help you. Remember, it’s not your job to convince them that you are right and they are wrong. You can present evidence if you like, but people are allowed to believe what they wish. You can request that people talk to you or treat you differently. Then they can choose whether or not to honor your request, and you can choose how to react. I have found that even if people choose not to do what you ask, there is empowerment in the asking. And having planned and articulated consequences ahead of family events may help you approach the holidays a little more calmly.

I wish you a holiday season filled with light and peace.

Love,
The Fat Chick

Roll Models

1 Reply

It’s hard to say whether kids today have an easier time or a harder time with the whole size acceptance thing. On the one hand, kids have access to a much more diverse community now. When many of us who are currently adults were children, our community was pretty small. We were influenced by television and magazines and movies of course. But most of our role models and experience came from a much smaller group comprised of our friends, the kids at school, our church or community group, the folks in the neighborhood and our families. Via social media, kids nowadays have access to a much wider group of people. There are social groups focused on size acceptance on the internet. And some of their heroes like Adele and Lady Gaga have spoken out directly about the notion that kids can love their bodies just as they are. Thus many kids are exposed at a much earlier age to the concept of size acceptance.

On the other hand, that social media is a double-edged sword. Kids are constantly communicating and critiquing one another. Mistakes can be immortalized via words, photos and videos and be part of an child’s online presence for life. If a group of kids should decide to pick on another kid, they can do so relentlessly, 24 hours per day and 7 days per week. They can find and follow their target even if they choose to move away. Sometimes this cyber bullying can have disastrous consequences.

And there’s also the question of kids being sexualized at a much younger age. Kids as young as 3 are paraded around in beauty contests. Companies sell padded bikini tops to preteens. Child actors and particularly singers are presented as sex objects well before the age of consent. Kids are under more pressure than ever to conform to an extremely thin, sexually desirable, designer clad, hot number at younger and younger ages. And yes, obesity and childhood type 2 diabetes have gone up in the past 20 years (although there is ample evidence that this is now leveling off or even decreasing). But we also have a situation where hospitalizations for eating disorders for kids under the age of 12 is up 119%. That’s kids UNDER 12 here folks.

So what are we to do? How can we help? Well one thing we can do is all go sign the petition created by Ragen Chastain and I to keep kids off the next season of The Biggest Loser. The last thing kids need is to see other kids like themselves battered, bullied and abused on national television just because of the size of their bodies. If you haven’t signed the petition, hop on over there and do it. I’ll wait…

But the other thing I think we grownups can do, especially when we are grownups of size is to be good roll models for our kids. Sure we can also be good role models. We can choose not to disparage other people for their size and we can speak out when we see it happening. But I’m also talking about rolls of flesh–our bumps, and love handles and folds of skin. We can wear those body “imperfections” with pride. We can wear tank tops. We can choose not to speak negatively about our bodies, especially in front of kids. By walking around, comfortable in our own skin, we send kids the message that bodies are wonderful and beautiful and diverse–and that there are lots and lots of other things we can choose to be neurotic about other than how we look in our skinny jeans. I’m not talking about lecturing to kids. We all know how well that goes. I’m talking about simply modeling a level of casual comfort over the whole body thing. Because so often while kids are busy not doing what we tell them, they are watching intently to see what we do.

So what about you? Are there ways that you can be a roll model for today’s youth? I’d love to hear what YOU think!

Love,

The Fat Chick

Stuffed

2 Replies

Thanksgiving is nearly here. And even though I haven’t eaten my Thanksgiving dinner or begun to cook the cranberries or season the bird, I’m already feeling “stuffed”. What is it about the holidays that makes us want to jam and cram every minute and every corner and every bit of our stomach with, well, stuff? Frantic to relive every holiday tradition, and sample every holiday food and participate in every holiday rehearsal, gathering, performance and event I find myself over-full and completely overwhelmed. And there comes a moment, when my husband is watching me run around the tenth time, like a chicken with my head cut off, when he just asks me, “Will you please stop? Just for a minute? Will you please just stop?”

You think I’d learn. I mean it happens to me every dang year. The temptation is sooooo strong. I can have one more rehearsal. It’s only one more bite of pie. I can add just one more person to my list. But I ultimately find, that when I’m completely stuffed. If I don’t have room for one more bite in my tummy, if I don’t have time for one more second in my day, I don’t enjoy any of it. And for me, that’s a real shame.

Look, if you are one of those rare birds who enjoys being stuffed, if it fills you with a holiday glow and makes you feel happy, who am I to judge? As my dear friend Ragen Chastain always says, “You get to be the boss of your own underpants.” But since I don’t enjoy it, and I really don’t like being stuffed, I’m exploring alternatives. Frankly, I’ve only come up with one. I’m going to have to give up a few things so that I have the time, energy, bandwidth and space to enjoy the others. I’m going to have to face my fears that the world will end if I don’t do everything, so that I can still enjoy some things. I’m going to have to live with not trying Aunt Sue’s Pecan Pie, making the shortbread cookies, caroling at the mall and doing the fifteenth office/club/team holiday party.

So my dear chicklettes. I hope the upcoming holiday is full (but not too full) of everything that you love, that you hold dear and that makes you feel inordinately happy.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Plan Ahead to Deal With Holiday Stress

Fat Activism’s Day in the Sun?

3 Replies

Well looking back, I’d have to say that this September and October have been pretty amazing months for fat activists. Both Jennifer Livingston and Stella Boonshoft rose from obscurity and went all the way to the Today Show. Jennifer Livingston even appeared on Ellen talking about her anti-bullying rant. Veteran fat activist Ragen Chastain appeared prominently on both Time and Newsweek web feeds yesterday after acquiring over 100,000 signatures on her petition asking Disney not to create special, 5’11”, size 0 versions of their characters just to fit in a Lanvin dress for Barney’s. Even yours truly appeared on Hallmark’s new Home & Family Show with Paige Davis last week. I attended the first plus-sized fashion show held during LA Fashion Week a few weeks ago. And I’m sure there’s lots of other amazing things that happened this month in the media and the public eye featuring us fluffier folk. What’s happening out there? Is size acceptance finally having a day in the sun? Maybe. And if so, it’s about darn time.

It’s hard to know what is fueling this blip. I know in Ragen’s case, it’s a combination of brilliant strategy and very hard work. And to be honest, I’ve worked my butt off as well. But the Home & Family gig happened as a result of one of my business partners running into a talent producer at the local coffee shop. And although both Jennifer and Stella’s journey began with a single, somewhat public step, I’d venture to say neither of them expected to end up on the Today Show. Is there something in the air? Is it because October is Anti Bullying Month? Is it because we’re on the heels of Weight Stigma Awareness Week and Love Your Body Day? Is the world finally catching on to what we’ve been trying to say for the past 50 years?

I hesitate to say that this is IT, and the world has changed for fat people FOREVAH. I’ve seen these moments come and go. This may just be a blip on the radar. But I think we should take heart that this blip has happened. I think we should Carpe freakin’ Diem and seize this darn day. Because in the size acceptance and size diversity movement things are often very hard. Sometimes it seems like everybody is against you or nobody is even listening. So all you rad fatties out there, let’s take a moment to store this time in our memories and savor it. Let’s keep it safe so we can pull it out on a rainy day. Because none of us activists in the public eye have done this all by ourselves. It is a movement. And every brave thing you do, every radical act of self respect and joy that you perpetrate in the world adds fuel to the fire. You are changing the world my friends. Keep up the good work!

Love,

The Fat Chick

P.S. One really cool activism project is the Fit Fatties Forum created by Ragen Chastain and myself. Why not hop on over there and take a look? Better yet, how about joining and posting a photo of you working out and enjoying your day in the sun?

Thursday Theater: The Fat Chick Talks About Bullies

3 Replies

My response to Jennifer Livingston’s amazing video and my entry for Ragen Chastain’s Amazing New Project.

:o)

Jeanette

PS: We. Will. Win.

Haters Gonna Hate

3 Replies

When you’re THIS awesome, some people just can’t handle it!

Yesterday, in our talk about stepping out, we discussed the notion that often you don’t know what’s in a person’s head, so you might as well imagine they are thinking well of you. But what happens when you think somebody is mean spirited and nasty and then they open their big mouths and remove all doubt?

In our not so genteel society, sometimes people are going to say nasty things. If they don’t say them to you in person, they will certainly say them online in comments or on Facebook. They may moo as you walk past or yell something like, “Just put down the cheeseburger!” At some point in life it happens to all of us.

And that’s really the first step to recognizing that it happens to all of us. Short, tall, round, thin–everybody gets something nasty yelled at them at some point. Heck you can’t even be the president without worrying about somebody throwing a shoe at you. The amazing Ragen Chastain gets so much nastiness thrown at her, she created a separate blog to contain some of the more ridiculous comments. And even if you were model thin, and rich, and drove a fancy car, people would find reasons to hate on you. Maybe they would find even more.

That’s because, believe it or not, the actions of haters really have nothing to do with you. It’s about them. It’s about them feeling jealous or inadequate or lonely or insecure. It’s about them desperately trying to recapture their lost mojo by peeing in your pool. And since you can’t fix the whole world, sometimes you just gotta accept that haters are gonna hate. Bless them, and move on. Sometimes I talk to them and give them a piece of my mind first if I’m feeling feisty. But ultimately, after I’ve had my talk with them, I say, “Bless their hearts” and then move on.

Is it easy? Oh my goodness, no. It’s really hard. And I know sometimes all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. But then, from a practical standpoint, I really don’t want to let that hater win. I don’t want to reenforce that crappy behavior, and I don’t want to give that creep that kind of power over me. So when I feel down, I go read Ragen’s hate mail and realize I’m not alone. I call a good friend, get dressed up and go have coffee or an adult beverage somewhere fabulous. I pull out my positive artwork and read some of the great things my friends have recently said online.

Because at the end of the day, my little chicklettes, you can only control your reaction to the world. You can only focus on being fiercely and completely yourself. Because at the end of the day, haters are gonna hate.

Love,

The Fat Chick