Tag Archives: size acceptance

Basta! When you’ve heard ENOUGH about your weight.

4th of July Reprise–A Declaration of Body Independence

Enjoy your independence my little chickies!

NOTE: This is a rebroadcast of a post I did in February. I’ve been thinking a lot about bodies and the rights we have to love them and care for them in any way we choose. I want to reiterate that health and happiness can be defined any way we wish and that nobody has the right to dictate what those terms should mean and how we should pursue them (or not). Enjoy your freedom my dear chicklettes.

Love,

The Fat Chick


The Fat Chick in front of Independence Hall

So on my recent trip to Philadelphia, I saw Independence Hall. Besides being a gorgeous building, this was a site where some pretty amazingly radical things happened. For one, the Constitution was created here. For another, the Declaration of Independence was both written and signed here. This along with an excellent blog post by ASDAH Secretary, Fall Ferguson, JD, MA.

All of this together got me thinking about the notion of body independence and how our current national obsession with the size and situation of bodies is so very antithetical to the ideas the founding fathers scribbled down in this building. And being the type of person who will follow an idea to its furthest reaches, beyond all reason, and with a preemptive request for forgiveness from our founding fathers, I’ve decided to lay out a draft of a

Declaration of Body Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all bodies are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

My body is my own to care for in whatever way I wish. No one has the right to tell me what to eat or how to move. If I want a cookie, I shall have one. If I want broccoli, I shall have it. I shall boogie down with my bad self, or not as I choose.

I have the right to compassionate, competent and equitable health care. This includes physical, mental, emotional and spiritual care. Whenever any Form of Medicine becomes destructive of these ends, it is my right to alter or abolish it and institute a new form of medical care–seeking a form that will seem most likely to effect my Safety and Happiness.

I have the right to look the way I look. I may wear tiny prints or vertical stripes. I may expose my fleshy arms as I embrace my freedom. Fashion shall dictate no law that keeps me from dressing and expressing myself as I darn well please.

I am endowed with the unalienable Right to walk down the street unmolested by individuals (well-meaning or not) wishing to ply me with “cures” purported to change the size of my body to meet their ideal.

I am allowed to create my own definition of health and seek it (or not) as I see fit.

When a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce me under the absolute Despotism of size oppression, it is my right, it is my duty, to throw off such Forces, and to provide new Guards for my future happiness.

So, my little chicklettes, cast off the chains of oppression! Launch a body revolution! Viva la resistance!

Love,

The Fat Chick

Haters Gonna Hate

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When you’re THIS awesome, some people just can’t handle it!

Yesterday, in our talk about stepping out, we discussed the notion that often you don’t know what’s in a person’s head, so you might as well imagine they are thinking well of you. But what happens when you think somebody is mean spirited and nasty and then they open their big mouths and remove all doubt?

In our not so genteel society, sometimes people are going to say nasty things. If they don’t say them to you in person, they will certainly say them online in comments or on Facebook. They may moo as you walk past or yell something like, “Just put down the cheeseburger!” At some point in life it happens to all of us.

And that’s really the first step to recognizing that it happens to all of us. Short, tall, round, thin–everybody gets something nasty yelled at them at some point. Heck you can’t even be the president without worrying about somebody throwing a shoe at you. The amazing Ragen Chastain gets so much nastiness thrown at her, she created a separate blog to contain some of the more ridiculous comments. And even if you were model thin, and rich, and drove a fancy car, people would find reasons to hate on you. Maybe they would find even more.

That’s because, believe it or not, the actions of haters really have nothing to do with you. It’s about them. It’s about them feeling jealous or inadequate or lonely or insecure. It’s about them desperately trying to recapture their lost mojo by peeing in your pool. And since you can’t fix the whole world, sometimes you just gotta accept that haters are gonna hate. Bless them, and move on. Sometimes I talk to them and give them a piece of my mind first if I’m feeling feisty. But ultimately, after I’ve had my talk with them, I say, “Bless their hearts” and then move on.

Is it easy? Oh my goodness, no. It’s really hard. And I know sometimes all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. But then, from a practical standpoint, I really don’t want to let that hater win. I don’t want to reenforce that crappy behavior, and I don’t want to give that creep that kind of power over me. So when I feel down, I go read Ragen’s hate mail and realize I’m not alone. I call a good friend, get dressed up and go have coffee or an adult beverage somewhere fabulous. I pull out my positive artwork and read some of the great things my friends have recently said online.

Because at the end of the day, my little chicklettes, you can only control your reaction to the world. You can only focus on being fiercely and completely yourself. Because at the end of the day, haters are gonna hate.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Stepping Out: Sharing Your Hotness with the World

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The Fat Chick and her fabulous husband on the red carpet at the New Media Vault Event at the W Hotel at Hollywood and Vine.

Last week my hubby and I went camping. We got really dirty and had to boil hot water for dishes. Then we came home, took baths and went to glitzy red carpet event at the W Hotel in Hollywood. Such is the life in LA LA Land. Last week we addressed the joys of camping and getting back to nature. This week we’re going to address the other half of our crazy week and talk about stepping out.

I think many of us have learned to hide our big fat lights under a bushel barrel. Many of us were taunted and teased as children. As adults, some of us are still taunted and teased. And just recently the situation of NY School Bus Monitor Karen Huff Klein demonstrated that it can be tough out there for people of size. (At least the school imposed a harsh penalty on those boys for their awful behavior.) When you have spent your life being singled out and taunted and teased and harassed and called awful names it’s human nature to want to make yourself less noticeable. It’s easy to see why we would try to make ourselves small and fade into the background.

While this sort of blending in is perfectly understandable, it’s also a little bit sad. We are big, bright, beautiful shining stars and we are meant to SHINE baby! It’s hard and it’s scary, but it just needs to happen. So this week we’re going to be talking about moving out of the shadows and into the light–starting with my appearance at the event pictured above.

I’ve been working in the film and media industry in Hollywood for over a decade now and have been in the public eye for even longer than that, but let me tell you a little secret. I still get nervous every time I go to a public event. I still wonder if people will judge me. I keep waiting to be “found out” and hear some body shout, “Hey, who let that short, chubby chick from Wisconsin in here?” You know it’s never happened, but I’m always aware that it might.

When I get nervous, I play a little game. As I’ve said before, I don’t really know what most people are thinking about me. So I begin the evening by imagining they think I’m awesome. It’s all in my head anyways so I might as well imagine good things, right? So I grab my husband’s arm and a bracing (and ridiculously overpriced) glass of pinot grigio and jump right in. And most of the time, I have a lot of fun. But in order to have that fun and to shine in the light, I first have to overcome that moment of existential angst in my bathroom at home, gather my courage, put on my big girl Hollywood “playah” panties and get out there.

So my little chicklettes, this week we’re going to talk about donning some sequins and rhinestones and hopping out of the nest of your little comfort zone. Because to deprive the world of your basic awesomeness for even one more day would be a terrible, terrible crime.

Love,

The Fat Chick

The Zen (sort of) Art of Camping

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Sometimes I joke that the best part of camping is how relieved you are not to be camping any more. Seriously. You know, like when you say to somebody, “It hurts when I do this!” They invariably dutifully ask, “Well, why are you doing that?” You reply, “Because it feels so good when I stop!” Yeah, camping is a little like that.

When I told one of my good friends I was planning on going camping, she said that for her, camping seemed to be mostly about cooking and cleaning up after cooking and getting things ready for sleeping and sleeping and picking things up after sleeping. And I agreed. Camping is kind of like that too. But for me, that’s sort of the point of camping.

For me, camping takes me out of my routine at home and slows me down. Everyday things like making a meal or doing dishes are more challenging when you have to pull everything out of a cooler and make a fire and heat your own water. But I also find that the slower and more challenging nature of doing these things in a more primitive way causes me to live in the moment. While I’m making dinner, I’m not also on the cell phone and figuring out what I’m going to wear today. While I’m doing dishes, I’m not also watching TV and thinking about what my last client said to me. I find that I can be absorbed in what I’m doing and achieve a state of flow.

For me, a state of flow is a condition where for a few, brief, blessed moments, I’m concentrating completely on what I’m doing while I’m doing it. It’s rare and elusive but supremely relaxing. It’s living in the now without reflection and without worry. It’s just a matter of doing stuff while you’re doing it. This is something I also feel whenever I teach an exercise class. There’s so much to keep track of while teaching–from how my students are doing to the temperature in the room to the beat of the music to what step I’m supposed to be doing right now to making sure that everybody is being safe and not getting hurt. Whenever I start thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch or whether or not I should buy that shirt I saw at the mall last night, it all falls apart. I stumble. I lose my place in the music. And I find I have to shake my head, march us all in place for a little while and begin again. But when I’m just thinking about my students and the beat and the dancing, it’s calming and joyous and maybe a little teensy bit zen.

So my little chicklettes–I want to ask you to think about what activities allow you to achieve this sort of moving meditation. What allows you to live completely in the “now”? Is there something you love to do? Something during which you can be completely absorbed and time seems to just “fly by”? I encourage you to find your thing. Maybe you could even try camping. Because, when you stop camping and take a bath and slip in between clean sheets on a real bed, it feels soooooooo good.

Love,

The Fat Chick

The Fat Chick Unplugged: Back to Nature

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The Fat Chick and family get back to nature

I often talk about balance on The Fat Chick Sings. My husband just finished up a pretty intense gig and I knew he needed a break. So the minute he told me the date of his last day, I announced that the day after his last day, we were going camping!

Now I love technology as much as the next chick. Possibly even MORE! And my husband works as a high level technology consultant. But sometimes my little chicklettes, you need to unplug and get away from technology for a little while. So we go camping.

We have a funny rule on our camping trips. We only check cell phones/email one time per day and we only check our spouses email/cell phones not our own. We know each other well enough to know what constitutes a real emergency and what can wait. And then neither of us gets sucked down the rabbit hole of emails and electronic love that pulls us out of the moment.

So we unplug the technology, stoke the campfire, pour some wine into our plastic camp cups and sit. We feel the breeze on our faces. We trace the patterns in the stars. We talk about everything and nothing. We breathe.

I wonder sometimes if feeling the sun on our faces is something that we need for health. Some casual googling reveals many folks believe that spending time in nature helps deal with depression, helps us heal, makes us feel more creative and may even help us live longer.

Now I’m not saying that camping and/or being outside is always awesome. There are challenges (more on this tomorrow). And I admit, it’s a whole lot easier to spend time outside when you live in Southern California than in many other places in the world. But it seems like getting outside for just a few minutes each day might be a good addition to our list of healthy habits.

So my little chicklettes, I invite you to spend just a teensy tiny bit of time today feeling the sun on your beaks and the wind ruffling through your fluffy little feathers. Take two deep breaths and call me in the morning.

Love,

The Fat Chick

How You Should REALLY Use Your Digtial Scale

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In honor of our secret agent week, I couldn’t resist this happy little photo. So many of us allow the scale to be our evil nemesis. We step into its bathroom secret lair and allow the number listed on it to determine whether we’re having a good day or a bad day. We step up to it frightened, contrite and naked (unadorned even with jewelry) and allow it to determine whether we’re a good person or not. Ninja kitteh says, “unless you’re using it as a secret agent paw print scanning device, just put it away already. I don’t let any silly piece of hardware make me cry.”

Good advice kitteh. Good advice.

Stuff that Weighs More than Me: Giant Hovercraft

R.A.W.R.–Random Acts of Weightloss-industry Rebellion

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In light of this week’s James Bond/Secret Agent theme, I’ve been thinking about some specific revolutionary maneuvers of my own. Recently the “Screaming MeMeMe!” has helped to clarify what we’re up against. There’s a whole lot of hate out there my little chicklettes. But both you and I have the power to be a force for good. And there are so many ways that we can act up and cause trouble for those who sow hate.

Now not everybody is ready to be as public in their rebellion as those who participated in Marilyn Wann’s I Stand campaign, or those delightfully awesome folks who are gaining supervillian status over on Red No. 3 as Agents of Obesity. Or even those who participated in the Kiss-In to protest Marie Claire’s nasty article.

But that’s okay, because there are plenty of covert operations you can participate in as well. One of my favorites is NAAFA LA’s bookmark campaign where they print out body positive bookmarks and slip them into diet books in libraries and bookstores. And of course NAAFA LA’s Big Fat Flea Market is also an act of positive rebellion in quietly asserting that people of all sizes deserve to look fabulous at reasonable prices. And I love the post-it note campaign at Operation Beautiful, where folks are encouraged to post body-positive notes on public restroom and dressing room mirrors.

There are so many ways to be quietly positive in a world that shuns us and shames us. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of saying something nice to someone trying on a pretty dress at a department store, sometimes it’s about leaving a NAAFA brochure at a weight loss clinic, often it’s about just being you as hard as you can. So my little chickies, lets think this week about how you can perpetuate so R.A.W.R. And enjoy the secret thrill of making the world just a little better and a little safer for every BODY.

Love,

The Fat Chick