I wonder how many times studies will need to come out and people will need to talk about the damage caused by panic mongering over the obesity crisis before the media stops covering it. I wonder if the media will ever stop sensationalizing fat.
Today I came across another article in U.S. News citing a small study that some women exposed to an article that appears to devalue fat people (how many of those do we see per day?) seems to spur people to overeat.
The study was designed to determine if people who felt stigmatized for being overweight were likely to eat more, due to resulting anxiety or frustration, said study author Brenda Major. She is a professor in the department of psychological and brain sciences at the University of California, Santa Barbara…
Seeing media stories covering the so-called “obesity epidemic” and its potential impact on health care costs triggered Major’s interest in doing this study, she said. “There’s a frenzy about obesity in the media and there’s a negative, moralistic tone to the coverage,” she said.
Not surprising (to me at least) is that the results showed that presented with articles of how fat people were weak-willed or a high “cost to society” many of those studied turned to food for comfort. The article cited other studies that indicate women placed in a situation where they felt devalued because of their weight had higher blood pressure and studies showing that discrimination based on weight can lead to weight gain.
And just this week, another study was released by the Rudd Center regarding the effect of weight stigma on cortisol reactivity. What was truly fascinating about this study, is that perceived weight stigma affected the cortisol levels of all women, regardless of BMI. So in other words, women of all sizes carried significantly greater levels of stress hormones after a single incident of weight stigma. These stress hormones are related to many processes in the body including regulation of blood sugar and blood pressure.
All of which leads us to ask the question again. Why oh why oh why does the world feel that it is okay to stigmatize fat people for their own good. It doesn’t do fat people any good. And in fact, there is ever increasing evidence that weight stigma makes people less healthy and probably makes them gain weight.
I think we have to start to wonder what various people and groups are getting out of wagging their finger at the fat folks. Do they get a sense of superiority? Do they get higher ratings? Do I care why they do it? Nope. I just want them to stop.
I have to admit I was taken aback when I was named one of “Healthy Weight Week’s Top-35 Healthy Weight Blogs”. I am actually aware of “Healthy Weight Week” from many years back. I know that Francie Berg started “Healthy Weight Week” 25 years ago in an effort to change the dialog from weight (a number on a scale) to health (decidedly not a number on a scale). This is part of Francie’s program which includes the annual “Slim Chance Awards” which chronicles some of the dumbest, most dangerous and least likely weight loss schemes of the year.
While I am firmly behind the notion of moving away from the number on the scale as an indicator of health, and I am deeply gleeful at the notion of poking fun at some of the most ridiculous diet schemes of the year (and the epic race to the bottom that THAT entails), I have to admit a fair amount of discomfort about putting the words “healthy” and “weight” together in any given sentence. While I think the spirit of the week is a really great thing, the name of the event still seems to imply that there is a particular “healthy weight” for each person to be. And I think that this notion is both simplistic and dangerous.
Because, you know what? There is no magic number. There is not a spot on the dial of the scale that, once attained, will make you immortal or even impervious to health problems or pain or sickness. Even if you reach that number using Health At Every Size(R) techniques or intuitive eating or super fun physical activity plans. Even if you attain this place by deep meditation and perfect self-love (as if that even exists) and flowers and love and light. There is no number on the scale that will make you perfectly happy or well-adjusted or even sane. It’s just a number on the scale. There is no perfect weight.
And there is no perfect health. Nobody is in “perfect health”. We’re all crumbling away–sometimes gradually and sometimes precipitously–towards our eventual demise. I’m sorry to be a little bit morbid. But I think that this notion of “perfect health” is something we need to put to bed right now. I mean right this very minute.
There are many ways to define health. Just as there are many ways to define Health At Every Size (R). But I favor a definition that sees health as a continuum rather than a condition. I think moving away from health is moving in a direction where we are less able to take advantage of our current physical condition to enjoy the things we love the most. Moving towards health is living in a way that allows us to take greater advantage of our current physical condition and squeeze more of the things we love the most out of the remainder of our lives. It doesn’t sound super sexy. I sincerely doubt it will sell a lot of tennis shoes or create a great bumper sticker. However, I think this definition of health allows everybody a spot at the table. It doesn’t separate the haves from the have-nots. It defines health in a way that can you can keep with you for your entire life.
This is particularly important in my work as a fitness instructor. I work with many people who are coping with many levels of physical challenges. From joint difficulties, to disease, to chronic pain conditions to plain old aging, many of my students and readers find it difficult to identify themselves as “healthy” as it is commonly understood. And for many of my students, the notion of “perfect health” seems so remote that it might as well be another planet. And this distance from the notion of “perfectly healthy” can be extremely demoralizing. “How can I even start?” or “Why bother?” they ask.
And that’s why I choose to talk about health in terms of a continuum. I tell them, “If we can do five minutes together today, we are going to ROCK those five minutes. We are going to count it as a success and then we are going to do a booty dance of victory to celebrate!” Because even though five minutes of exercise can’t move them to a “perfect weight” or “perfect health”, it can move them towards a life that contains a little more energy and allows them to fit in a little more awesome. Even as their teacher I am neither a perfect weight nor am I in perfect health. However, my life contains a significant amount of awesome that I am happy to share. And to me, helping your life contain even just a little more awesome is a worthy goal.
So, I am deeply honored and deeply grateful that I have been selected as one of the unfortunately-named but super-well-intentioned “Top 35 Healthy-Weight blogs”, because it gives me the opportunity to share my thoughts on this very important topic with you. And I thank you, as always, for listening.
Love, Jeanette (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. If you’re interested in a fitness challenge tailored to your specific body and capabilities, I’d like to invite you to consider the Fit Fatties Virtual Events and Decathlon. We’ve got all kinds of events both traditional (1 Mile Walk/Run/Roll, triathlon, 10 mile bike ride) and extremely non-traditional (romp with your kids or your dogs, engage in cheesy dance moves, shovel snow out of your driveway, tromp around a museum). Join in the fun!
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You know what I did last night? I went to a the Producers Guild Awards in Beverly Hills. You know what I didn’t do? Give even one hoot about whether or not I was thin enough to be there. I wore something I had saved up in my closet. I didn’t have on sky-high heels or even a foundation garment. No Spanx. No control-top pantyhose. (Hell this is LA, who wears pantyhose?) I sat at my table in the Beverly Hilton–right where, just one week ago the Golden Globes were held. I was in the same room (separated by literally miles of tables of course and more handlers than you could shake a stick at) with Ron Howard and Brad Pitt and ate as much as my stomach could comfortably hold, because it looked good and I was hungry. I went to an awards show and had fun and felt good and was comfortable as can be. And it was awesome.
Today, for Healthy Weight Week, the question was asked, “How might life be different for someone who decided to stop hating their body.” And I’d humbly like to suggest, that this, THIS is how life is different. I didn’t even think about going on a diet to get ready for this event. I pulled something beautiful out of the closet that I knew would fit, because I’m no longer weight cycling. I had very fancy clothing in my closet that didn’t require me to put on a girdle or a corset or even stomach-punishing pantyhose to fit. When I was standing in line to have my picture taken at the step and repeat, my friends talked about their January juice fasts and cleanses and body programs. I then outlined my program: I find exercise that I really love and do it as much as I can because it’s fun. Then I eat whatever the F*$! I want as long as it tastes good and feels good in my body. I think they are more than a little bit jealous.
And when my beautiful salad arrived and the waiter asked if I wanted dressing, I said yes please, and a little bit more please because, hell yes I wanted dressing. When he asked if I wanted bread, I took without apology, the big, yummy parmesan triangle thing right on the top, large enough to sail a small boat, and I enjoyed the heck out of it too. When the inevitable chicken composed with 4 grilled baby vegetables arrived, I devoured most of it. When dessert showed up, I devoured that too–ice cream and all. Not because I might not get to eat naughty food tomorrow. Or because I knew I wasn’t planning on allowing myself ice cream ever again. Just because it tasted good and I was hungry.
And yes, I definitely went to the after party in the penthouse and shook hands with Morgan Freeman (who by the way, is just as nice as you’ve heard). And I didn’t worry even a little bit about if he thought I was fat.
Despite what you may think, not everybody in LA goes to these celebrity shindigs. I am very, very grateful to be on the national board of the Producers Guild of America and get to go to this type of event from time to time. But I’m even more grateful to my sisters and brothers in acceptance for teaching me to go and feel completely at home in my body and completely unconcerned about looking very, very different from the vast majority of those treading the red carpet.
I am so grateful.
And that is why I post my glittery picture. Partly because I’m excited to show you a picture of me all dressed up. But also to let you know that this fat girl is here and she is representin’! In sparkly, but comfortable shoes. With a full tummy and an even fuller heart.
So this week, American Apparel hit the news again with some brand new mannequins. Apparently they are causing quite a stir because THESE mannequins are sporting prominent nipples and a prodigious crop of pubic hair. Now some folks have applauded American Apparel for showing women that are more “realistic”. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree.
These mannequins are completely in line with everything else I’ve seen from American Apparel. It seems that their ads are not only focused on women as sex objects, but I’ve always felt that there was a gritty, DIY Internet porn, especially inelegant focus on women as sex objects.
In any case, I see very little here that makes these mannequins look more like real women. They are still all the same size and shape. They are still very tall and impossibly willowy. They still portray a body that would probably be unlikely to bear children or even menstruate. Nope. What I see here is a dirty little boy with a magic marker drawing pictures on his sister’s dollies just to get attention.
And it’s gotten plenty of attention. Which I am quite sure was the point. The sad thing is that there are others making a real effort to make mannequins look more like real people. There was THIS post I did a while back, about a shop in Sweden making more realistic mannequins. And then there’s this video. It portrays special mannequins being created from some very unlikely models. The video is beautiful. Please watch. I’ll wait.
I can’t say everything about that video is perfect either. But I can say that it seems a whole lot closer to the sort of work towards inclusiveness that we need in this space. I’d love to see a mannequin that shows how clothing looks on a short, modified hourglass with apple shaped tummy body rather than the plus-sized mannequins that are 7 ft. tall with perfectly flat stomachs.
And how does all of this relate to fitness? I think so many people go into exercise trying to look like those bodies in the Macy’s store windows. So many of us have spent years not working at FITNESS (being fit, being able to do certain things that we’d really like to do), but rather working at “FitThis” (being able to fit this pair of jeans, this image, be accepted by this crowd). And so what? Is there something wrong with having fitness aspirations for having a “better body”? The thing is that for most people, physical fitness does not create an overly dramatic shift in the way their body appears. Only a very small percentage of genetically gifted folks are even physically capable of sporting a visible “six pack” or “eight pack”. Exercise doesn’t change your body’s bony structure. It doesn’t make you taller. And for most of us, it doesn’t make you significantly thinner. The problem with aspirational “FitThis” is that it takes our attention away from what exercise is very likely to accomplish in our lives (better sleep, better health, better mood, better self esteem, better sex, better sleep…) and focuses our attention on an area where exercise is a lot less likely to succeed. It sets us up for unrealistic expectations. It sets us up to fail.
So I’d like to encourage you to put yourself into your elegant, pricey, fitness store, right at the front, behind the huge glassy windows. See yourself, happy, healthy and feeling fabulous as the epitome of what you are hoping to accomplish. Because you are amazing. You are inspiring. And you are the ones who keep me doing what I do.
Love, Jeanette (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. Want some more amazing real life inspiration? Check out what we’re doing with the Fit Fatties Virtual Event and Decathlon! We’ve already had our first decathlete! And there are some truly amazing pictures including our recent 5K finisher who walked the beach with her son and met Santa (an honorary Fit Fatty), a woman who lifted literally a TON of weight wearing jammy pants and lots more gorgeous happy people. Sign yourself on up!
In case you’re noodling over my semi-bizarre title, let me just say this. Frank “did it his way”. And when it comes to exercise, I’d like to invite you to do it your way.
I was inspired to write this after reading a great post by a young exercise guru named Ryan DeBell. In his post, he talks about some of the anatomical differences in the hip region that can have a dramatic difference in the way we squat. If you aren’t too squeamish when it comes to looking at human bones, I’d like to encourage you to hop on over to the article. Because those pictures of bones tell a story that is very interesting.
The pictures feature the bones of the hip, showing us the socket part of the joint on the pelvis (called the acetabulum) and the ball part of the joint on the head of the long bone of the leg (called the femur). When the pictures are compared, side by side, it is clear that there is a LOT of anatomical variety. The angle of the ball part of the joint differs widely from one person to another. The length of the ball part of the joint is different. The position of the socket part of the pelvis is very different from one picture to another.
From this picture, Ryan extrapolates that these bodies would perform the “squat” in ways that are very different from one another. He posits that one person would be more comfortable in a wide stance and another would be more comfortable in a narrow stance. And he suggests that this difference is likely to continue expressing itself, even after a fair amount of exercise in both strengthening and increasing range of motion in the hip joint.
It’s also fascinating to me that Ryan followed up his blog post with a brief video. Here it is:
Basically what the video says is (and I’m paraphrasing): “Yeah helpful commenters, I didn’t say that because hips are different people should stop working on their hips. And no I don’t have reams of incontrovertible evidence detailing the exact range of human hip diversity. But what I am saying is that even if you exercise a lot, people are still going to be different. ”
And the end of the video is so awesome, I’ll quote it here:
“Keep doing it so you can be the best version of you in your movement.”
Okay, I want to give this guy cyberhugs. Seriously. Because what he says makes so much sense not only in the context of exercise, but also in terms of body diversity in general. It should be obvious, right? We don’t all look the same. Some of us are tall and some of us are short. Some of us are designed to be weight lifters and some of us are designed to sprint and some of us are going to run long distances like marathons and ultramarathons like a freakin’ gazelle. Some of us are designed with a great deal of musical talent. Others of us can’t carry a tune in a barrel. Does suggest that the sprinters can’t do marathons or that the non-singers should just mouth “Happy Birthday to You” at the next family gathering? No it does not. However it does suggest that the sprinter’s body is likely to respond to 26.2 miles in a way that is very different from the gazelle. It means that the non-singer is going to have a much different experience learning to sing opera than the kid who rolled out of bed at age 18 with a high “C” and perfect pitch.
And speaking of singing, there is so much diversity in music, and in many ways it seems more accepted. I am a soprano. I can sing the same notes as many altos and even some tenors. But no matter how much I train my voice to extend my range, I will not be an alto or a tenor. The quality of my voice will not match those voice types. And the more I try to train my voice to artificially create a sound that is not right for me, the more fatigued and frustrated I will become. And if I train against the natural tendencies of my voice long enough and hard enough, I am likely to experience pain, injury and possibly even permanent damage. Does that mean I stop working to extend my range? Of course not! But it does mean that I need to progress in a way that is in harmony with my anatomy and my abilities.
You know, as I watched the Golden Globes last night, I found a number of things really striking. One thing I noticed was how tall most of the women were. And another thing I noticed was how similar all the women looked to one another. There were a few striking and glorious examples of body diversity, but the vast majority of the women at that show could have easily swapped couture gowns with one another. And I think this is one of the main dangers of consuming media in our culture. It makes us lose touch with how much natural diversity there is in bodies. It gives many of us the sense that our bodies are all wrong because everybody we see on TV and in the magazines either look the same naturally, or are photoshopped into uniformity. But if we look outside of media, if we look in the real world, I think there is a beautiful and astonishing level of difference.
So how do we bring this back around to our title? How do we relate this to Frank Sinatra? My dear friend, I think it means you need to do exercise YOUR way. By all means enlist the help of a personal trainer or exercise teacher. By all means build your strength and extend your range of motion. But while you are doing this, please listen to YOUR body. Don’t assume that there is only one way to strengthen or increase flexibility in any part of your body. Don’t even assume that there is only one right way to do a particular sort of exercise. And when your body says, “OW it hurts when I do that in that way,” follow your Mom’s sage advice and don’t do that. Just focus, as Ryan says, on being the best version of YOU.
Love, Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. One of the things that is so exciting about the Fit Fatties Virtual Events project I co-created with Ragen Chastain (besides how cool it is to do anything with Ragen Chastain) is watching how different bodies respond to the very different challenges offered in the program. Rather than asking everybody to do a 5K or a triathlon, we are encouraging people to explore a wide range of activities and pick a few that feel great to them. We are still offering early bird special pricing so I urge you to go check it out!
I talk a lot about self esteem and self efficacy in this blog, because I think both of those things are very, very important. I think the way we see ourselves and the way we approach the world helps to shape our world. On the other hand, I think it’s important to recognize that the world we live in shapes us in turn. Both self esteem and self efficacy involve more than just self. Because as John Donne said all those years ago:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main…
John Donne
We all function as part of the world. Our self esteem is deeply influenced by the opinions of those around us. And frankly, right now, the world is none too kind to people of size. Feeling good about yourself is really tough in an world containing people who after one look at you consider themselves justified in considering you less than human. Even when you approach the world in your best dress and your prettiest smile and your very most positive of positive thoughts, it’s tough going when what the world reflects back to you is pity, disgust, shame, disdain and yes, even fear.
And it’s also important to recognize that the tremendous amount of prejudice experienced by people of size in our culture is constantly reenforced by various factors. The diet and weight loss industry is worth more than 60 Billion dollars in the U.S. alone. And desire for a piece of the grant/research money pie has fueled a desperate fight against fat people also known as the “War on Obesity”. A need to find a scapegoat in our difficult economic times and even more difficult health care landscape has led to the fat person as social pariah–blamed for everything from the high costs of health insurance to global warming.
I’m not telling you this because I want you to be depressed. Far from it. But I also want to pay homage to the fact that feeling good as a less than skinny person in our culture can be really, really difficult. This is reality. And any work that we try to do to feel good about ourselves needs to be seen in the context of this reality.
This is why I think it is so very important to build community to support one another. I am by no means perfect in my self esteem. But a great deal of any of the strength I do possess in this regard comes directly from my participation in the size acceptance community. I am deeply indebted to those who have come before. That’s why I think it is so important to honor others who are building a better and safer world for people of all sizes. This year, we honored some of those trail blazers this year in the Shadow on a Tightrope anniversary. And my dear friend and business collaborator Ragen Chastain is doing very important work in her documentary film project honoring the history of the heroes and heroines of the size acceptance movement.
And beyond just recognizing those who have gone before, there is a veritable army of people out there right now, working to make the world better for people of all shapes and sizes. People like Marilyn Wann and Ragen Chastain. Organizations like the Size Diversity Task Force and ASDAH and NAAFA.
So in your look to bolster your self-esteem, I’d like to encourage you to think beyond yourself. First, I’d like to suggest that you take a look at some of the forces outside of yourself that may be dragging on you. Learning to recognize these voices that send you negative and shaming messages is an important first step towards choosing what to take on board and what to throw away.
Next, I’d like to suggest that you find community. Get together in the real world or the virtual one, with like-minded people who allow you to feel supported and safe at any size. I can’t emphasize enough how much community has helped me and supported me and strengthened me.
Finally, I’d like to ask you to consider how you might help others feel good about themselves. It’s not enough to simply take. Community implies a sharing of talents and resources and our very selves. That’s not to say that we all need to help in the same way. Some of us will march in protests. Some of us will send scathing letters. Some of us will simply support one another with a quick hug or a kind word in the comments section.
None of us is an island. We are all a piece of the continent, a citizen of the world, a member of the universe. It’s up to all of us to make that universe a better place for ALL of us.
So my dear reader, it can’t have escaped your attention that it’s a new year. I’ve talked about it and written about it and recorded movies about it. And it’s no wonder. The new year is a time fraught with peril for many of us. On the one hand, many of us face the danger of what I call the “big fat cycle”. We are drawn in by the gazillions of weight-loss ads and new years resolution frenzy into a cycle of panic and body hatred, followed by weight loss fantasy and unrealistic expectations, followed by deprivation, guilt, defeat and despair.
But even when we are able to move past this “big fat cycle” of panic, fantasy and despair, we are still in grave danger of allowing our enthusiasm to run away with us. Just because we manage to shun weight loss messages, doesn’t mean that we are automatically immune to unrealistic expectations and are completely in tune with our bodies. And it’s important not to be so loudly shouting body positive slogans at ourselves that we aren’t hearing what our bodies have to tell us.
As you probably know by now, I am deeply committed to the notion that Every BODY Can Exercise. I’ve just announced by Every BODY Can Exercise 12-week program. And my dear friend Ragen Chastain and I have launched a series of virtual fitness events including a decathlon and a double decathlon on our Fit Fatties Forum. And you know what, I am SO excited about both of these things. And I’m so excited that so many of you are so excited about these things!
But, (and this is a biiiiiig but) I also want to council that we need to approach all of that excitement with a little bit of caution. Because, without a little bit of care, this kind of excitement can land us in the waiting room of our nearest sports medicine specialist or even the hospital emergency room. Which sucks. Trust me, I know.
So, I’d like to take this moment to remind you, that life is a distance race and not a sprint. And in this case, it often pays to take the role of the tortoise and not the hare. By all means, get excited about exercise. Come on out of your shell. Start on down the track. But let’s make sure that we are continuing to listen to our bodies as we engage in this process. The phrase “no pain, no gain” needs to be stricken forever from our fitness lexicons. Because as the hare well knows, pain often leads to temporary gain, followed by high hospital bills and a long recovery period. Let’s take a page from the tortoise’s book and learn to check in with our bodies regularly. Aches and minor pains can be very helpful tools to let us know when we have done too much too fast, or are exercising with improper equipment (like shoes or a bicycle that doesn’t fit properly), or are doing an exercise that isn’t right for our body at this particular moment.
Aches and pains often start as a whisper that progress right on to screaming when left unattended. It’s best to catch these messages “on the whisper”. Because once you get to the screaming point, you may find yourself seriously injured and have to put your fitness dreams on hold for quite a while.
Look, I don’t want to be a “Debbie Downer”. I don’t want to rain on your parade, or “pee in your pool”. But I do want you to just take a moment as you charge towards your fitness goals in 2014 to choose the way of the tortoise. It is often the very fastest way there. See you at the finish line (eventually).
Love, Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. It’s not too late to join me for my 2014 Every BODY Can Exercise program. Enrollment will remain open until midnight on January 12, 2014. And enrollment is still wide open for the Virtual Events program on the Fit Fatties Forum. So start today (but not toooooo fast!)
It’s 2014 and it’s time for a new FREE video. YAY!
In this video (click above) I offer some new tools to help make 2014 the year YOU become a regular exerciser. Learn how to use your fun inventory to find your exercise bliss, use exercise “speed dating” to try before you buy and participate in my “Rock the Block” (TM) exercise to help you find your appropriate fitness starting point.
It’s the time of year when all of us size acceptance and HAES (R) folks start talking about why you shouldn’t diet as your New Year’s Resolution. And I’m sure you’ll hear plenty of good reasons like: it doesn’t work, it makes you crabby, it messes up your metabolism, it will probably make you fatter, it fills your life with shame, it messes up your self esteem and it doesn’t work. (I know I said “it doesn’t work” twice, but I think it’s important enough to bear repeating, um, again apparently.) But you know what? I’d like to add another reason for not making dieting your New Year’s Resolution to the pile. And that reason is: it’s a really boring resolution. I mean, is that seriously the best resolution you can come up with? “I’m going to go on a diet,” is just not original and it’s not fun.
I strongly believe that if you can inject a little more fun into the New Year’s Resolution process, you’ve got a much better chance for success. I’ve often said the same about exercise in general. Fun makes everything better. And into every person’s life comes the moment where you need to decide if you are going to put time and energy into your resolution or if you’re going to sit on the sofa, eat some cheesy poofs and watch that Saturday marathon of Project Runway reruns. If your resolution doesn’t have any fun in it, if it’s not sort of enjoyable in some way, which do you think you’re gonna pick? Let’s get real here.
Bored kitteh finds New Year’s Resolutions boring…
That is why I am SUPER excited about a few things we’ve got coming down the pike here! For one, I’m still collecting photos and videos for our New New Years Resolution project. I’d like to make a new video like the one last year, but this time, I’d like to feature YOU. But in order for this to work, I need your photos by midnight on January 31st. So PLEASE send your photos to projects@thefatchick.com ASAP!
Next I want to tell you about a little debauchery that Ragen and I are cooking up on the Fit Fatties Forum. This year we are hosting a Fit Fatty Decathlon as part of our Fit Fatty Virtual Events series. What is that? So glad you asked! The Fit Fatty Decathlon is a series of lots of events that you can choose and complete on your own or with friends. Register for the events, complete 10 of them, submit photographic evidence, post on Facebook (‘cuz otherwise it never happened) and you my friend are a Fit Fatty Decathlon Finisher! Some of the events are pretty typical (walk/run/roll a 5K). But some of these events include sustained temper tantrums, playing with dogs, hula hooping and running after toddlers! (Extra points if you do all of these at the same time.) You can learn all about it HERE.
By the way, I should mention that prices for the Fit Fatty Decathlon are scheduled to go up significantly (like I mean a lot) after January 1. There’s even a contest for submitting the wackiest idea for your own event. I mean come on. How much fun is that? So stop your darn procrastinating and SIGN UP RIGHT NOW! Here for your clicking convenience is that LINK AGAIN.
Whatever your new year brings to you, I hope you find a way to approach it with fun. Life is full of challenges. And sometimes life just sucks! Having a little fun can help get you through. Here’s to a year full of love and light and laughing until your belly hurts!
Love, Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. Want a gift to help you learn how to feel good about your body? This month I’m giving away “5 Things That can Help You Love Your Body Right Now! for free to members of my clique. Just opt in RIGHT HERE!
During this time of year, it’s pretty natural for us to think about gifts. We’re frantically making finishing touches on the gifts we’ve yet to give, reflecting warmly about the gifts we’ve already given and received and looking forward with either anticipation or dread towards the gifts we’ve got coming in the future.
But when I talk about gifts, I’m not only talking about those wrapped packages we receive on special days, but also about those talents and special blessings we have that we can share with the world.
But so often, because we live in a world obsessed with physical appearance and in a world that is so unkind to people who don’t meet the impossible media standard of beauty, I see people who are not able to enjoy or share their gifts. So many amazingly talented, intelligent, kind, funny and gifted people are simply unaware of these gifts. So often, I talk to someone, especially someone of size about their gifts and they respond in fear and negativity. They say things like, “I’m not really talented. There’s nothing really all that special about me.” Or even if they acknowledge a talent, they don’t feel that their talent is of sufficient magnitude to share with the world. They say things like, “Oh I couldn’t sing in public, I’m not good enough. And people would just laugh at me.”
Let me stop right here and say, I get it. I procrastinated in writing my book and coming out into the public eye for years because I was afraid. I was afraid people would say mean things to me. I was afraid people would laugh at me. I was afraid people would discount me because I am fat. And you know what, once I started to really share my gifts out in the world, all those things happened. People refused to study exercise with me because I wasn’t thin. People said incredibly mean things to me, even on national television. I got hate mail, and I get hate mail. Some of it is incredibly ugly. Nearly all the things I feared, in at least some small part, have come true.
But none of that icky stuff begins to compare with the feeling I get from sharing my gifts with other people. None of that yuck comes close to the feeling I get, when somebody calls or emails or simply comments to say that in some small way, I helped them. None of that hate spewed by others compares to the feeling I get deep in my bones when I know that I am doing at least some of the stuff I was put on this earth to do, and I am breathing deeply and living loudly and to my purpose. None of that even comes close to the feeling I got when I walked out on stage of the KatieCouric show to talk with the world about what it means to love ourselves the way we are right now. The feeling of being what I should be, and the feeling of helping is radically joyful.
When I speak in public, especially when I speak to young people like I recently did at USC, I am careful to always talk about this. When I talk about the costs of the “War on Obesity” and the costs of fat hate in our society, I always talk about the costs to each of us individually and to the world at large of large populations of people not daring to even dream about living fully. I talk about the costs of a significant percentage of people in our world who deny their gifts or hide them under a bushel basket because of the very real fear that they will be laughed at, derided and scorned because they don’t look the way society dictates they should. And I remind people that it is not just the individual cost to each person who does not derive as much joy as they would like from living to their purpose, it is also the cost to everybody else in society who doesn’t get the benefit of those shared gifts that makes this hatred of certain body types so very, very expensive.
It’s not always easy to admit to and share your gifts. I know this. But one thing that seems to make it easier is to try to live in the present. If we dwell on past hurts or we anticipate future pain, we draw into ourselves. We curl up and we don’t give. One of the keys to sharing our gifts seems to be living in the now.
Take a look at our friend from Kung Fu Panda. At one point, Po was ready to give up. Mr. Panda states, “I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of Kung Fu–in the history of China–in the history of sucking.” He was frustrated and embarassed. He was laughed at and derided by the other creatures in the Dojo. But Master Oogway reminds Po that, “Yesterday was history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”
So during this holiday season, I would invite you to consider your gifts. I promise you have them. You have talent. You have worth. You have energy and time. You have ideas. You have compassion and joy and laughter to share with the world. And you have the gift of today in which to share those gifts with us. Please share.
Love, Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)
P.S. Want a gift to help you learn how to share YOUR gifts? This month I’m giving away “5 Things That can Help You Love Your Body Right Now! for free to members of my clique. Just opt in RIGHT HERE!
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