Stupid F@#!ing Injuries


If you’ve done any sort of exercise for any length of time you’ve probably experienced some sort of pain or injury.  I know.  I feel ya.  I’ve experienced injuries of many shapes and sizes and they all, unequivocally suck.  But of all injuries I’ve faced, I have to admit that I’ve had the hardest time coping with the stupid f*$%ing injuries.

If you’re wondering what I mean, let me explain.  There are injuries that sound justified or even tough.  Like, “I got a stress fracture training for that Ironman race”.  Then there are stupid f##$ing injureis like, “I tripped over my own shoelace and now I’m going to be in traction for a month.”  It doesn’t sound sexy.  Nobody’s thinking, “wow what dedication and stuff, the guy walked in SHOES, with LACES.  And they came untied and he just KEPT GOING!”  Nobody is making YouTube videos with inspiring music behind them documenting your “tripping over your shoelaces” comeback.  Like I said, it just sucks.  Because as much as your knee or your back or your shoulder is hurting, you also have to deal with the agonizing blow to your pride.

I had a reminder of this just this past week.  I hurt my back, working on the remodel of our house.  Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad, right.  Oh, did I mention I was SWEEPING at the time?  Yup, all I was doing was sweeping and my external obliques let out a rebel yell:

OMG it was so embarassing.  My husband asked me what was wrong.  And I replied that I had just experienced the dumbest injury in history.  He told me to take some Advil and go lay down.  At first I told him, no–that I didn’t have time to lay down.  And in his infinite awesomeness he replied,

“Jeanette, tweaking your back is not the dumbest injury in history.  That kind of stuff happens to everybody.  But if you don’t take the time now to lay down and you make this worse and you allow a little injury to become a massive, got to lay in back for a week injury, now THAT would be pretty dumb.”

God, I love my husband–that is when I’m not trying to kill him for being annoyingly correct all the time.  But you know what?  He had a point.  I wish I could say that the injuries I suffered were some sort of sexy battle scars from the hard core exercise wars, but the truth is, the worst injuries I’ve ever had have been stupid !@#$ing injuries.  Including:

1.  Meniscus tear from jumping up on some exercise mats to get some exercise equipment for one of my classes.  Result: 4 weeks on crutches, massive physical therapy.

2. Torn ligament in the sole of my foot from catching my sandal on a single cement step at my parents house.  Result: 6 weeks on crutches, massive physical therapy.

3.  Tweaking my back from sweeping.  AAAAARGH!

Look there’s a point to all this and here it is.  We alllllllllll experience stupid f!$%ing injuries from time to time.  It happens to everybody.  Get over it.  The only thing that you can control is how you cope with it after it happens.  You can rest, get diagnosis, and get treatment OR you can ignore it and allow a small f#$%ing injury to become a MASSIVE f!#$%ing injury.  And as my husband says, that’s the dumbest kind of injury of all.

Hang in there!


Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)

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4 thoughts on “Stupid F@#!ing Injuries

  1. jespere514

    Great post!!! If I may add one to the list…. How about tearing a tendon in my foot from stepping in a hole because I was hurrying up an embankment to see a bear? I was camping. Oh, and the bear was down the road. Anyway, I think that’s a pretty stupid f$&@%#g injury…

  2. msgeekmedia

    Currently dealing with Stupid Effing Injury: Plantar Fasciitis. I will do the AIDS walk, that’s only a 10K, but until I heal up more I’m not going to do the kind of distance walking that was the mainstay of my fitness regimen before the injury. According to everything I can figure, biking is a good alternative because your weight is on the balls of your feet, not your arches or your heels. Restored my beach cruiser to working order and am finishing up some finishing touches on visibility hacks (reflective tape, flag, lights) because LA drivers have no idea how to share the road. Cross-training for the win…

  3. wickedbelle

    My best stupid f$#%&ing injury: age 21, seven weeks before college graduation. Standing on front porch of my dorm drinking Cherry Coke. (I’ll never forget, for as long as I live, that it was Cherry Coke.) Put the can down to crush it with my foot, stepped on it, lost my balance, fell 9 feet and shattered my right ankle. Seven weeks, one surgery, two metal plates, eight screws, three leg casts and two crutches later, and I was able to hobble across the stage to receive my college diploma. It’s been 15 years — I still have the hardware and my ankle is still an amazing barometer. I can always tell when it’s going to rain. 🙂

  4. Helena Handbasket

    My mother fell off our boat, faceplanted flat onto our dock and broke her left foot all because her sandal got caught on the railing of the boat as she was jumping off. Utterly graceless and unsexy. You are in FINE company. 😉 HEAL UP FAST!!


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