Well I’m back here telling you that the pain in my back is, well, back. Last week after I gave my speech at the Duarte Health Fair, I took a little nap and woke up in pain. Like whoooooaaaa pain. I went out for my birthday dinner. Had a little pizza and went to bed. When I woke up, in the middle of the night I found I could barely walk. I took some aspirin and cried and tried and tried to get comfortable. After a long while, I found I could manage if I lay on my back with a pillow under my knees. And until yesterday, that was about all I could do. Whenever I moved from that spot, I was in agony. Yesterday, I finally progressed to the point where I could sit upright so now I can write my blog. And there was much rejoicing (yayyyy).
Why am I inviting you to this pity party? I’m not really sure. I do want to make it clear that I am not some kind of persona, but rather a person. That means I get injured, I get sick, I get frustrated and I get discouraged sometimes, just like you. And I do want to do a shout out to all of you who are in chronic pain. This week, I had a teeny, tiny, appetizer, snack-sized reminder bite of what that is like and I have decreed, “It sucks.” In the short space of a week, I’ve had to cancel many appointments and have a discussion with my husband that I wasn’t really able to do much to help him as I had to rest for half an hour after the giant effort of washing my hair. I haven’t styled my hair for a week. I can just about manage to stay clean. I’ve had to call everybody to cancel my class–three times. I had to explain to my doctor that while I was very clear that it would be better for me to get out of my bed and keep moving, I might use my laser-eyes power to kill him where he stood (if I had laser-eyes destruction capabilities). I stood in Target, waiting for my prescription for pain killers to be filled, shifting from foot to foot, and hating the fact that I was asking them, please for the love of God, please hurry. And this is just a teeny taste. This is only one week.
I have been reminded yet again of all the people I know, all the students and family and friends who are suffering from chronic pain. Friends that have been enduring for years and have no idea if or when their pain will ever end. I have endured chronic pain for spurts throughout my life. And it sucked. And it crushed me in my tracks and humbled me. But I have enjoyed the privilege of not being in pain most of my life. I honestly feel such respect for those who manage to endure month and year after year often while maintaining work, family, friendships, and maintaining the ability to think and to feel and even to laugh. I give you mad props. And the next time I ask a student in chronic pain to keep moving, that it will help them, I will give a silent prayer of gratitude that nobody really has killer, laser beam eyes. Right? Well unless you are a cat that is:
Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)
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