Tag Archives: diet

Death and Taxes

Well we’ve survived another U.S. “tax day”, so I thought I’d share a little post about inevitability. Most of us have heard this quote, “In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.” And while most of us understand the notion that taxes are inevitable (well at least unless you are a multi-billion dollar corporation) we have a little harder time with the whole death thing. We know on an intellectual level that everybody, including us, will die. Yet on an emotional level, many of us believe that if we eat enough fiber, do enough exercise, and stay thin, we won’t die.

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to make choices that can potentially extend our lives or improve the quality of our lives. That makes sense. But I’ve often wondered at the emotional response to my acceptance of my own size. I understand that not everybody agrees with me. Some people think I should do anything and everything that just conceivably might help me at least for a short time to lose weight. But it’s the emotional involvement with this disagreement, the hatred and anger and spitting vitriol that comes with it, that sometimes throws me for a loop.

I recall sitting in a crappy and inadequate paper gown in a medical center where a doctor was nearly frantic in telling me that since I was fat, I was going to die. He wasn’t offering me any statistics or research indicating increased risk for mortality or morbidity. He was simply doing that finger wagging, nagging, since you’re fat, you’re going to die speech. And I replied, “well you know, I don’t have an M.D. after my name, but I’m pretty sure we’re all going to die.” Which gave me at least 10 seconds of respite before he started in on me again.

If you want to talk to me about increased risks for morbidity and mortality that may or many not be attributable to being fat, well okay. I’m armed. I’ve got data. Let’s rumble. But if you want to argue that all fat people are going to die, guess what. You’re right! All people, everywhere are going to die. Even if they eat whole grains, and their chi is perfectly aligned and they run a marathon every day-even if they are thin, they are still going to die.

I think this is at least a small part of what freaks people out so much about my decision not to actively pursue weight loss. Because at least in a small way, I’m not buying into their emotional fantasy, that if they do all the right things, they just won’t die. Here’s the thing. I’ve lost many who are close to me. And some of these folks did everything “right”. They ate well, they slept eight hours per day, they managed their stress, they went to the doctor and they simply got sick and died–sometimes quite young.

Am I suggesting that we should just ignore our health? Absolutely not! I am suggesting that there is no day in our life that is guaranteed. And I for one refuse to spend so much of my life trying to change one potential (and questionable) risk factor for mortality that I don’t have time to really live. If my days are limited on this earth, and they are limited, I want to do what makes me feel good and allows me to experience wonder and contentment and joy. Sometimes that’s taking the dog for a walk. Sometimes it’s eating ice cream. Because I’m grown up enough to understand that both walking the dog and eating ice cream are wonderful. And even giving up ice cream won’t allow me to live forever.

Love,

The Fat Chick

P.S. If you’d like to hear more about that story in the doctor’s office, you might want to check out this episode of the Right Now Show. And I’m pleased to let you know that the deadline for the RESOLVED project has been extended. So it’s not too late to create and share your video about your experiences with health care.

And if you’re interested in learning a little more about the joy of exercise, don’t forget to check out my book and DVD!

Right Now Show Episode 005: The Big Fat Cookie Cycle

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In Episode 005 of the Right Now Show, we explore the cycle of dieting, deprivation and desperation that I have dubbed “The Big Fat Cookie Cycle”. Learn a few reasons why dieting typically fails and why the Health At Every Size(R) approach seems to be so much more successful.

Here are some important references offering more information on Health At Every Size:

The Fat Chick Works Out! Book and DVD

The Association for Size Diversity and Health

Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

Big Fat Stats

And finally, if you’re enjoying the show, don’t forget to subscribe at: http://www.youtube.com/jeanettedepatie.

Thanks so much!

Love,
Jeanette
AKA The Fat Chick
http://www.thefatchick.com

I want to be the chubby mouse with the big fat brain.

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Isn’t it interesting how so many people who have never met us are nevertheless quite sure they know exactly what we want? I have been inspired by a number of amazing posts by fellow HAES experts this week that talk about the notion that no matter what the cost, we all want to be thin.

It all started with Ragen Chastain’s amazing post about the notion of having a “fat brain”. She talks about the various “experts” she’s run into who promise that being fat is simply a state of mind. These experts tell us that if we just get our mind right, we’ll be thin. And I have to state, I’ve run into a fair share of folk who have suggested the same thing to me. I remember sitting through a lecture during one of my fitness certifications where the leaders decided to go off book. They drew a stick person on the board with a hole in the center. They said that fat people eat because they have a hole in their lives that they need to fill with food. They suggested that once these poor fat folks figured out where the “empty spot” was and learned to fill it with something other than food, they would be thin. I wish I could say that I stood up at that moment and asked the leaders where the “hole” was in my fat body, because I sure couldn’t see it. I think I was too angry and freaked out to stand up at that moment. (And in retrospect, maybe asking a fitness instructor to help me find my “hole” wasn’t such a good idea after all. And in light of the proposed medicalized bulimia apparatus a new “hole” may wind up in the future of quite a few fat folk.) I seethed the entire weekend and ultimately wrote a scathingly bad review and called the district supervisor. But the message of these misguided teachers was nevertheless quite clear. I had a fat body because I had a fat brain. And nobody wants a fat brain, right?

Except, I kinda do. Because you know what? Brains are made up of mostly water and fat. And we can argue on and on about the type of fat that is in our brains. But no matter how you slice it, a scrawny, skinny brain is not the very best for thinkin’. I like my fat brain. In fact, I might even want to plump that bad boy up a little. So score 0 for the folks who felt quite confident they could read my chubby little mind.

On to the next cyberbump on this topic, this time delivered by the always amazing Dr. Deah Schwartz. It seems she was pretty upset about the last line found in this article discussing how endocrine disruptors have been shown to cause obesity in mice. The article begins with a picture of two mice–one skinny and one fat and ends with the line, “After all, which mouse would we rather look like?” Clearly the author believes that no one would rather look like the more rotund rodent. Just like nobody could possibly want a fat brain. Except, I’m not so sure. I think the tubby mouse actually looks a little cuter. And since this mouse study seems to indicate that mice who are on a diet seem to be depressed all the time, I think I’d prefer to look like the fluffier little fella.

Look. If you wanna be my lover (or friend or collegue), don’t assume you know what I want. Don’t assume that I am eager to meet your aesthetic standards for the way I look or what I eat or how I hope to be. If you want to know, ask. Then I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want. The answer just might be something completely different than you originally thought.

Love,

The Fat Chick.

P.S. Tune in to the blog tomorrow for the next episode of my new YouTube show: “Right Now! with Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick). And don’t miss the telesummit I”m doing with Anne Cuthbert tomorrow about setting safe, healthy and happy exercise goals. And finally don’t forget to add your minutes and miles to the Fit Fatties Across America form. Help us get all the way to San Jose in time for A Fatty Affair on Saturday! We’ve got 1,300 miles to go, so enter your time and your miles today!

Never Good Enough: How a Big Body Means “You’re Doing it Wrong”

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One of the things I find deeply frustrating as a fat woman is the assumption by many complete strangers, that I am not doing enough for my health. And the more I appear in public and on television, the more I hear this criticism leveled at me. No matter what I’m doing for my health, clearly I’m not doing it enough, because, well look at me. And if I should claim to be doing something far beyond what another person is doing, then I must be lying.

For example, I am a fitness teacher. I exercise pretty regularly and moderately. But many people believe that clearly, I’m neither exercising hard enough, nor the right way, because look at me. I’m still fat. I should lift more weights. I should exercise at a higher intensity. I should do Fred the Celebrity’s Super Insane Fitness Plan. Forget that I might get injured. Forget that I would hate it and quit after a few workouts. The folks that know everything about everything are glad to let me know that since they are thin and I am fat, I’m not working out as well as them. And when I tell them, that when I was training for the marathon and walking/running up to 35 miles per week I still maintained this weight, they tell me I was eating 4,000 calories per day, or lying. People who are conventionally thin, don’t get this treatment. If a conventionally thin person says that they exercise 45 minutes per week, they are usually told, to keep doing what they are doing because they look great.

The same is true with eating. Many people assume that since I am big, I eat nothing but junk food, I eat large amounts of food and I eat all the time. In pre-interviews for certain public appearances, I am grilled over and over about what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat, and so on. No thin woman is asked these questions. It is assumed that if they are thin, they are eating well. But the producers ask these questions of me because A) they think their audience will wonder (and they are probably right about this) and B) they just can’t imagine that I’m not eating the whole house because, well, look at me. We have been conditioned so deeply to believe that fat people do unhealthy things and fat people do healthy things that we assume that we know, by looking at someone what their habits are. In the name of full disclosure, I would say that my eating habits are pretty average. I eat more than some and less than some. I eat more junk food than some and less than some. Some of those who eat less than me weigh more than me. And many people who eat more than me weigh less than me. As comforting as the idea is that we can control every aspect of our appearance and our health outcomes with our behaviors, it just isn’t true.

So all we can do is what seems to be best for us at the time. There is no perfect exercise regimen. There is no perfect diet. There are no perfect people. There’s just people. So the next time you look in the mirror and decide that your size means you aren’t doing the right healthy things or doing enough healthy things, maybe that’s the time to just stop. You don’t have to put yourself into the same box that society does. Make your own plans and build your own life. Build a life that is joyous and right for YOU.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Lady Gaga’s Response to Body Comments

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Yesterday’s post was all about how bodies don’t come with a comment button, and that we are under no obligation to make our bodies look the way other people want them to look. As you might guess, if ordinary people feel pressure to comply with societal standards about visual appearance, celebrities also feel a great deal of pressure. That’s why I was somewhat excited to read about Lady Gaga’s response to the recent uproar about her “getting fat”.

Recently some photos and nasty articles were released that showed Lady Gaga looking a lot heavier than before. There is a lot of discussion about the apparent distortion of these pictures, making Gaga appear shorter and heavier, being caused either by squishing them in Photoshop or because of the flattening effect of certain camera lenses. In other photos and videos from these exact same appearances, Gaga looks notably thinner. However, Gaga readily admits that she has gained about 25 pounds. She says that she is “dieting now” and that she has gained weight because “she loves to eat” her Dad’s amazing Italian cooking. But before you start wondering why I’m talking about her on my blog let me share with you that she also states, “I really don’t feel bad about it, not even for a second.”

Yesterday, Gaga shared on her site, LittleMonsters.com that has been dealing with anorexia and bulimia since she was 15. She also included some photos of herself (with her eyes closed) wearing just a bra and panties. And she launched a new subsection of her site called the BODY REVOLUTION. Some copy on the new section reads:

My mother and I created the BORN THIS WAY FOUNDATION for one reason: “to inspire bravery.” This profile is an extension of that dream. Be brave and celebrate with us your “perceived flaws,” as society tells us. May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous.

She also popped up this past weekend in Paris wearing this dress.

Now don’t get me wrong. I can’t hold Lady Gaga up as an unflinching paragon of size acceptance. Not that long ago she was criticized for her “pop stars don’t eat” twitter post. One might wonder whether the photos in her undies are as much about proving her relative thinness as they are about revealing her soul. But I do think she’s trying to shine a lens on the ugliness of body snarking and the intense pressure girls and women face to be thin. And I think in revealing her lifelong struggles with anorexia and bulimia, she is admitting that she doesn’t claim to have all this body stuff figured out. It’s a process. It’s a challenge.

But I am excited that at least part of what has come of all of this is one of the pop icons of our times inviting fans to embrace themselves as they are on her site stating:

Hey Guys its Gaga… Now that the body revolution has begun, be brave and post a photo of you that celebrates your triumph over insecurities.

Time will tell whether this movement towards body acceptance will stick with Gaga or drop along with her 25 pounds. She may stay on this path. She may be hawking weight loss products in six months. I don’t know. But it’s hard not to see that all celebrity bodies seem to come complete with a comment button.

So my little Chicklettes, can we take some good from this? Sure! First, let’s note that some of the “sexiest” and “most popular” women in the world struggle with body image. And while I wouldn’t begin to compare your struggles with the struggles of anyone else, it’s good to know that we all have those struggles in one way or another. Next, let’s take a minute to celebrate your triumphs large and small over body insecurity. And finally, I’d love for you to remember that wherever you are on your journey to body acceptance, we are all works in progress. Nobody is perfect at loving himself or herself. But with gentleness and kindness we are on our way!

Love,

The Fat Chick

Dieting: How Never to Feel Full Again

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There is no doubt in my mind that there are few things as expressly designed to make you lose the gift of sufficiency as going on a diet. You may not lose weight, but you will lose perspective in a New York minute. And that makes me sad.

I have found few pleasures in life as wonderful as being sated from a wonderful meal. Not over full. Not stuffed. Not “I need the stretchy pants and a lie down”. But it’s so wonderful to have eaten just enough of something delicious.

In order to achieve this balance of “just enough” (by any means other than dumb luck) you have to be in touch with your body’s satiety signals. You have to know what your body wants to eat. You have to know when your body has had enough. And then you need to stop eating. Seems simple, right?

In some ways it is simple. Babies only a few hours old can manage it. Baby wants to eat. Baby cries. Baby gets fed. Baby lets you know he’s had enough. Baby stops eating. We are born knowing when we are full. It’s a miracle of nature.

And then we start messing with it by going on diets.

Diets aren’t about listening to when your body is hungry or full. Diets are about eating what’s on the diet when the diet tells you to eat it. Diets tell you to have a piece of wheat toast and a boiled egg for breakfast. It doesn’t matter if this is what you want to eat. It doesn’t matter if you really only want the egg or if you want two pieces of toast. It doesn’t matter if you eat the toast and the egg and are still hungry. It doesn’t matter whether or not you really want to eat leftover salad from last night’s dinner. Youwill eat a boiled egg and a piece of wheat toast. So you tell your tummy and the rest of your body to shut up and simply refer to the chart in your brain that says, “boiled egg and piece of wheat toast.”

You know what happens next. You get hungry. You ignore it. Your body gets mad. You ignore it. You want a cookie. You ignore it. You decide not to think about cookies. Which makes you think about cookies a lot more. You finally break down and eat a cookie. Except it’s not one cookie, it’s two dozen. And you go to bed feeling overstuffed, nauseated, guilty and angry. Then you get up the next day and eat a boiled egg and a piece of wheat toast.

I’m not just saying this. There is research to back this up. In the famous Minnesota Starvation Experiment, men were observed eating normally, then intentionally underwent severe calorie restriction causing them to lose 25 percent of their body weight and then started eating again. The results were astonishing. Subjects suffered prolonged significant increases in depression, hysteria and hypochondriasis. The majority of subjects experienced periods of severe emotional distress and depression (even self-mutilation). And during and long after the starvation period, the subjects were obsessed with food. And many of the subjects found that they no longer, ever again, felt they had enough to eat.

A successful relationship with our bodies is like any other successful relationship. It relies on communication, honesty and trust. When your body gets hungry and you ignore it, your body stops trusting that you will feed it. Your body makes you think about food all the time just to make sure it will get some. And your body stops sending you the signals that you are happily and pleasantly full.

Which again, robs us of the gift of sufficiency and the joy of satiety. Which kind of sucks.

So my little chicklettes, if you are on a diet or thinking about going on a diet or are recovering from a diet, take a moment and listen to your body talking to you. It is asking you to listen. It is telling you what it wants. It is begging for your trust. And it is saying it has had just about enough of this dieting business.

Love,

The Fat Chick