Why my Body has no Comment Button

Today on facebook I came across two different posts about how people in the world feel compelled to share their disappointment that not everybody in the world chooses to meet their personal standard of beauty on a 24/7 basis.  First, I came across this post from the truly awesome Fat Fox.  (Note: frustration leads to some colorful, sailor-like language.)  In this guest post on Fat But Not Afraid’s Blog, she talks about the “always wear a bra” requirement some feel compelled to share.  She also notes that those folks can just kiss her–well like I said, sailor talk.

And then I ran across this story shared on facebook by Atchka Fatty of Fierce Freethinking Fatties, in which a girl who is simply standing line and texting on her phone is photographed and made the subject of ridicule on reddit.  Be sure to read her beautiful and thoughtful response at the link above.

Honestly!  What is it with people?  Last time I checked, there was no comment button pasted on my body, ANYWHERE.  Just exactly how much ego is required in order for you to expect everybody in the entire world to continually live up to your personal rules about how they should look?  I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that amount of ego weighs more than me.

My dear Chicklettes, are you starting to see how it is not your responsibility to look the way other people think you need to look?  Are you starting to understand that the problem is not how big your butt is, but rather, how small their mind is?  Are you starting to understand that you can choose to make the fact that somebody doesn’t like you just because of your outward appearance, NOT YOUR PROBLEM?

Good!

Because you are awesome, wonderful, gorgeous and deserving of love exactly the way you are right this very moment.

Love,

The Fat Chick

When Life Gives You Lemons–Work Out!

The Fat Chick now appearing in the fall issue of Volup2 in English and French. C’est chic, non?

Hello my little Chicklettes or mes petits poussins as the case may be. I’m so excited to share with you my first fashion magazine appearance in the ever so very awesome VOL.UP.2 with Velvet D’Amour! Truthfully this was so much fun. First, shopping for props with my super awesome husband. Next the photo shoot with the incredibly talented Kelly Varner.  And finally the final product. I’m so excited to share this with you!

I’m also pleased that this spread captures what I really believe. I do think that you can work out anywhere without fancy equipment. I think exercise should be fun. I don’t think you should take yourself too seriously. And I think when life hands you lemons, you should make a workout!  And never miss an opportunity to go to the beach.

Speaking of the beach, if you’re in the LA area, you’re in for a real treat this coming weekend.  On Saturday, September 29, local size-diversity activists are hosting Take Back the Beach in Huntington Beach.  Join us for this free, fun, joyful event including a “flesh mob” led by the amazing Ragen Chastain and an LA beach version of a Hot Flash Mob with the Menopause Mambo.  Click here to learn the dance!  I hope you can come.  But those of you who are far away (even in Paris) can always join in vicariously via the photos and videos I’ll surely be posting!

So my little chicklettes, in closing I’d like to state, life is a beach!  So you might as well don your swimsuits, grab a towel and soak up a little sun.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Stuff that Weighs More than Me: Space Shuttle Endeavor on top of an Airplane

Yesterday, many of us in the LA area watched in awe as the Endeavor Space Shuttle, nestled on top of its Shuttle Carrier Aircraft flew all around over our heads. I got to see it as it crossed Highway 134 on its way to JPL. Traffic was backed up for miles with drivers craning their necks to see the flying behemoth. (This redefines Southland rubbernecking, by the way.) Be told, this thing is BIG. I was thrilled to see it–first and foremostbecause I love space stuff, but also because I thought, “Cor, that thing probably weighs more than me!”

And indeed it does! Let’s look at the stats:

Shuttle Carrier Aircraft:
Model: 747-100 (modified)
Wingspan: 195 ft. 8 in.
Length: 231 ft. 10 in.
Height: Top of vertical stabilizer, 63 ft. 5 in. To top of cockpit area, 32 ft. 1 in.
Vertical tip fins on horizontal stabilizers: 20 ft. 10 in. high, 9 ft. 7 in. long.
Airspeed limits with, and without an orbiter: 250 knots or Mach 0.6
Weight: Basic weight, NASA 905: 318,053 lbs.

Endeavor Space Shuttle Orbiter:
Length: 122.17 ft (37.24 m)
Wingspan: 78.06 ft (23.79 m)
Height: 58.58 ft (17.25 m)
Main Engines: Three Rocketdyne Block two-A SSMEs, each with a sea-level thrust of 393,800 pounds-force (1.75 meganewtons)
Maximum Payload: 55,250 pounds (25,060 kg)
Payload Bay dimensions: 15 ft by 60 ft (4.6 m by 18.3 m)
Empty Weight: 151,205 lb (68,585 kg)

So even if we’re assuming that the plane had already used most of its 47,210 gallons of jet fuel and that the orbiter was empty, we’re still looking at a whopping combined weight of
OVER 500,000 lbs.

CONCLUSION: Space Shuttle Endeavor on a Plane Weighs More than Me

Thursday Theater: Confirmation Bias

The video posted above is hilarious. I mean I LOL’d big time. But then I started thinking. I thought–what an amazing example of how our society filters information to confirm what we already believe. I mean nothing in the video is really proven. There’s no evidence that cats are better than dogs. And most of the stuff in the video is totally made up. The back story of the video is invented in a way that “proves” the central thesis of the filmmaker.

Sound familiar? I mean how often have we seen a video of a headless fatty shot from a low angle displayed in slow-motion? And how often is this video used to “prove” that there something wrong with bigger people? And how often are these videos accompanied by a completely manufactured back story that have no basis in actual fact?

So my little Chicklettes as funny as the “Scientific Proof that Cats are Better than Dogs” may be, I’d love for you to use it as a primer. Use it to learn how the media manipulates images to make us inferior or less than. How often are these images used to make us believe we have to run out and buy special products to change our lives? And please remember that clever use of Photoshop and editing software do not constitute “scientific proof”

Love,
The Fat Chick

Another year older…

Okay, sorry kids.  The blog post is late today.  But I have an excuse.  You see I’m another year older.  Well technically, I’m only one day older than yesterday.  But I just celebrated the dreaded B-day with all the accompanying happy wishes on Facebook and desolate dread surrounding my own mortality.

Don’t get me wrong.  Birthdays can be awesome.  But they are also a reminder that another year has passed that I will never get back again.  And I like to think it’s a kick my pants reminding me to go out there and DO what I was put on this earth to do.  Because darlin’, ain’t none of us gonna last forever.  We only get one go around.

One thing I was put on earth to do, is eat birthday cake.  I will do that.  Cake will happen.  Morbid thoughts will lessen.  My mood will brighten.

But the other thing I was put on earth to do is to encourage YOU my dear Chicklettes to get on out there and grab the brass ring.  Go out there and have a second helping of awesome because you only have one life and you should enjoy it to the very dregs.  Don’t let anything hold you back or anyone get in your way.  Oh and eat cake.  Cake is important.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Mangia! (And the Sandwich Rule)

Today’s short but sweet message is to remind you to eat!  Even if you’re a person like me who loves to eat, it’s easy to get busy and caught up with stuff and worrying about if you have time to eat or even if you should eat.  But my dear Chicklettes if you’re hungry then by all means pull up a chair, sit down and the table and munch away.  And if your life is crazy like mine, that might mean that you have to keep a little something in your purse like a package of trail mix or a granola bar or some nuts.  Because all too often, I’ll be in the middle of something, and I’ll slowly recognize that I’m not able to concentrate and simple tasks are becoming more difficult and then it gradually dawns on me: I’m famished!

Not eating when you’re hungry can cause problems other than loss of concentration.  It can also make you really cranky.  In fact my husband and I have instituted something called the “sandwich rule”.  Simply put, whenever we’re having a fight one of us calls a time out.  During said time out, we each eat half a sandwich.  If we still want to fight after the time out, we can.  But we’ve found that most of the time, we weren’t really mad.  We were just hungry!

So my little Chicklettes, if you’re feeling a little peckish, put a napkin in your collar, grab a knife and fork and tuck in.  Take the time.  Give yourself permission.  You’ll feel so much better and you might not feel so distracted…bacon!

Love,

The Fat Chick

Why You Don’t Have to be the Perfect Example of Anything

On one of the list serves I regularly read, a person came on asking for support.  She has secured some very important opportunities to share Health at Every Size and is herself a person of size.  She is very excited about these opportunities.  She is also, understandably, terrified.  I wrote back to her with some thoughts and have decided to share them with you here.

My dear Chicklettes, I have a confession to make.  My work as an advocate for exercise for people of all shapes and sizes and as an advocate for body love and size acceptance almost never happened.  For a long time, I was paralyzed by fear.  I dipped my toe in the water, but I was very afraid to go public in a big way.  Why?  Because in order to represent people of size, I felt I had to be the perfect example of a healthy, happy, fit and fat person.

I asked myself a lot of questions.  What if I get sick?  What if I injure myself and can’t exercise any more?  What if I get diabetes?  People might point at me and say, “see I told you fat people can’t be healthy!”    People will disbelieve everything about Health at Every Size(TM) if I am not the perfect embodiment of HAES(TM).  People will publicly deride me and call me names!  What if I’m not strong enough?

At one point, I worked with a great coach Mary Jo Thatcher who helped me understand one very important thing.  Even though I represent an idea, and even though I’ve given myself a moniker (The Fat Chick) I am a person and not a persona.  That means I’m not perfect.  I am a living, breathing, individual being who has fears and strengths and problems.  I will get sick sometimes.  My body will age.  I will get hurt both physically and emotionally.  And I will ache.

Being imperfect makes me vulnerable.  Sometimes I am yelled at by doctors, by well meaning relatives and by pumped up (but very insecure) small-minded people on TV.  Some of the comments that I moderate out of my YouTube channel and blog and website are just so unbelievably mean and stupid.  And they hurt–every time.  I am stronger now.  This meanness doesn’t quite hold the same power over me that it once did.  But it still aches.

However, this very thing that makes me imperfect and human also gives me power.  It gives me a way to relate to the other imperfect humans that I work with.  It allows me move beyond the need to be perfect and move into the need to be flexible, and open and LISTEN to those around me.  And it allows me to help others accept their own humanity and right to be loved and respected right at this very minute: not when they’ve reached some arbitrary goal I’ve set up for them, and not when they’ve created a suitable “after” picture to help me hawk whatever product I have for sale, but right now.

So my dear Chicklettes, if you’re afraid to represent for people of size, or if you’re waiting to be perfect in order to earn the right to share your thoughts and your energy I have some sad news.  You will never be perfect.  You will never be the perfect embodiment of anything.  All you can be is you–as hard and as joyfully as you can!  Fortunately, that’s enough.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Stuff that Weighs More than Me: Water Buffalo

Pictured here in concert with The Fat Chick at one of its other habitats: the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.

The water buffalo is the largest of the Bovini Tribe which also contains African buffalo, yak, bison and other forms of wild cattle.  Both male and females feature large, backward curving horns–although the male horns are larger–stretching up to five feet from tip to tip.  Asked what a water buffalo eats, one might reply, “whatever it wants”.  However, the typical water buffalo diet includes water plants, herbs and grasses.  The water buffalo spends a lot of its life submerged in muddy water and has special wide-splayed feet that keep it from sinking too deep in the muck.  This would be a handy trait to have in our current political climate, I’m thinking.

Here’s the stats:

Length: 8 to 9 ft. with a tail about 2 to 3 feet long.

Height: 5-6.5 ft. at the shoulder

Weight: 1,500 to 2,600 pounds

Conclusion: The water buffalo weighs more than me.

Hating Fat But Not Fat People?

Gah!  If I had a dollar for every time I heard somebody say they aren’t fighting fat people, they are just fighting fat, I’d be a very rich woman.  And by the way, what a bunch of utter, utter, bull crap.  Fat is not detachable.  It’s not a suit like the one Gwyneth Paltrow wore for that terrible movie (which by the way is the modern and enduring version of blackface now allowed in films).  My fat is part of my body.  Shame my fat and you shame me.

It seems every time we turn around, there’s another campaign to shame fat people.  There was the Georgia billboard campaign to shame fat kids.  And the recent campaign in Australia showing fat guts inside and out.  It just keeps on happening.

I’d like to believe these efforts are well-intentioned.  But there is so much information out there about the fact that these ads do very little good and cause so much harm.  Just a few days ago, the Rudd Center released yet another study showing while these ads do make people feel stigmatized and hated they do not inspire healthy behaviors.  So why, oh why are these ads still being made?

I’d like to believe maybe those creating these ads don’t know about these studies.  But time after time, fat freedom fighters like myself and Ragen Chastain and Lydia Jade Turner and Marilyn Wann and the folks at NAAFA and ASDAH have sought to educate those creating these ads about the harm they cause.  And repeatedly the folks creating these ads put their fingers in their ears and say, “la, la, la, not listening.”  Or worse, the folks creating these ads seek to attack the personal character of those offering well-reasoned, well-researched criticism of the completely ineffective and often harmful “shame the fatties until they are thin” approach.

I have to believe that the desire to create these ads is about something else.  Whether that something else is a desire for fame, or money, or greed or the need to parade one’s “moral superiority” over somebody else is hard to say.  But these ads sure aren’t about helping people.  Because they don’t.  Period.

So my dear Chicklettes, the next time you see one of these ads shaming fat people, or hear a terrible fat joke, or hear gossip about the poor fat person who works in the office next door, or hear yet another lecture about how your fat is ugly and unhealthy, I’d like you to understand one thing.  As Marilyn Wann says, “You can’t hate people for their own good!”  Stand up for yourself.  Stand up for others.  And let people know–you can’t hate my fat without hating me.

Love,

The Fat Chick

Finding Your Rhythm

The Fat Chick performing at a Taiko Drum Demonstration

This morning I was dreaming about drumming.  I know, it’s weird.  But I was pounding away on a little tom tom and feeling so very happy.  And I woke up feeling even happier, because I finally knew what I was going to blog about this morning.

I think I was dreaming of drumming because I felt such a strong need to get back to a rhythm in my life.  On my recent trip to New York, I had a red-eye on one end and an extremely late flight on the other.  And with the time change, and all the stress, my body never quite figured out when it was bed time and when it was time to get up.  Truthfully, since I’ve been back, I’ve struggled some as well.  Finally last night, after a late dinner, I announced, I’m going to bed!  I staggered off at my regular bedtime and dropped off to sleep.  So, yay!  I woke up this morning at my regular time feeling ready to face the world at last!

All this got me thinking about the rhythm of our lives.  Our bodies yearn to make us creatures of habit.  They want to go to bed at bedtime, wake up at about the same time every morning, eat at regular times and do virtually everything else at regular times.  There are times that our body likes to work, and rest, and have sex, and go out dancing.  There are daily rhythms, weekly rhythms and even annual seasonal rhythms.  As I musician, I understand that the rhythm of any opera will shift from time to time.  There will be fast patter songs, more lyrical love songs and slower and sadder laments.  Not every song will have the same beat.  But most of the measures within the song have the same beat.  Because if you change the rhythm with every measure or every note, you don’t have a song, you have chaos.

Sure my body can function with erratic timing, but it sure does seem to make things more difficult.  So I am going to try to get my “inner conductor” back to work at getting my body back on a reasonable schedule.  How about you my little Chicklettes?  Would you benefit from a regular breakfast time, bath time or bed time?  How about trying it out for a week and see how you feel?  Just have a little talk with your inner maestro,  “One, two–one, two, three, four…”

Love,

The Fat Chick