torture |

I guess I should have seen it coming. We’ve seen forks that talk to you and bracelets that shock you for eating too much. We’ve seen painful patches you sew on your tongue, balloons you blow up in your guts and dramatic rerouting of your internal plumbing and drugs that cause high blood pressure, irreversible heart damage and death all in the name of weight loss.

Today, the FDA approved a new implanted electronic device for helping fatties lose weight. Now, we don’t know that this product will fail as so many have before it. It’s possible that this will be the miracle all the fat-hating world has been seeking. But I have to say, I has a concerned.

Concerned kitteh is concerned.

First of all, let’s talk about the device. According to the FDA News Release:

The Maestro Rechargeable System consists of a rechargeable electrical pulse generator, wire leads and electrodes implanted surgically into the abdomen. It works by sending intermittent electrical pulses to the trunks in the abdominal vagus nerve, which is involved in regulating stomach emptying and signaling to the brain that the stomach feels empty or full. Although it is known that the electric stimulation blocks nerve activity between the brain and the stomach, the specific mechanisms for weight loss due to use of the device are unknown.

Okay, first off, this abdominal lobotomy machine somehow uses electricity to block nerve activity between the brain and the stomach. Is anybody else even a tiny bit uncomfortable about this? I mean isn’t that connection between your mind and the fuel tank of your body kind of important? What about cravings for things our bodies need? We just do away with all of those? Personally, I think that the link between my stomach is kind of important.

And then we get to the part that says, “the specific mechanisms for weight loss due to use of the device are unknown.” Um, okay. So somehow disrupting a key process of your body makes you lose weight, but we aren’t sure why. It could be that you get the feeling of being full sooner. It could be that the tiny device is receiving signals from aliens from another star system that, frustrated with efforts to starve the human race by planting celebrity “fat shots” into the National Enquirer, have turned to more direct methods. (It does stimulate the “Vagus Nerve” after all.)

It’s how the MIB know what’s what…

Now let’s talk about efficacy. You know, whether or not it works. The FDA approved this device despite it’s failure to meet the primary endpoint. What does this mean? It means that the device using group would lose at least 10 percent more excess weight than the control group. But despite missing this important marker, the device was approved because AAARGH, DEATHFAT, PANIC! Now let’s look at the statistics.

The release states that a clinical trial was conducted with a whopping 233 patients. The group with the functional version of the device lost 8.5 percent more weight than those with the non-functional version of the device and kept it off for 18 months. So far that’s as far out as they have studied. Despite the fact that most weight loss products, programs and potions work for 18 months. Despite the fact that virtually every other weight loss product, program, plan or potion starts to fail shortly after that, leading to mass failure and frequently even higher weights within 5 years.

But that’s okay, because the FDA has rules, right. The press release states:

As part of the approval, the manufacturer must conduct a five year post approval study that will follow at least 100 patients and collect additional safety and effectiveness data including weight loss, adverse events, surgical revisions and explants and changes in obesity-related conditions.

So the manufacturer (which has NO conflict of interest, right?) will conduct an ongoing study on less than half of the original patients to see if this thing works long term and/or causes more problems than it solves. Uh huh. In the mean time, the company that has created this thing faces unmitigated joy as their capital and stock prices rise. By time we figure out that this thing is causing really big problems, or doesn’t work long term or is receiving signals from the Vega system, the guys that created this will be on their second yacht and summer home in Vail. But that’s okay too, because AAARGH, DEATHFAT, OBESIPANIC!!!!!

I’m sighing deeply right now as I contemplate just how many more folks will sell their cows for this handful of magic beans, and how big and angry the giant will be, and who will be around to slay it.

Don’t mind me. I’m going to do something I know will improve my health long term. I’m just gonna shut off the computer and go for a walk.

Love,

Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)

P.S. Want to hear Jeanette speak at your organization about sensible, sustainable, and research-driven ways to improve your health? Click here.

P.S.S. Wanna buy stuff that will help you start and stay exercising? Click here.

I was somewhat floored this weekend as I listened to a brief radio report on my local public radio station about kids and plastic surgery. The story (which made reference in the intro to Renee Zellweger’s altered appearance at a recent awards show) talked about the number of kids having plastic surgery and the reasons behind it. The report opens by talking about the number of teenagers who have had Botox (TM) in 2013. According to the report, that number is 17,958. Now the report was careful to state that most of these procedures were for medical reasons. Botox is used to treat migraines, strabismus (cross eyed) and facial spasms. Yet when all was said and done, over 1,000 of these Botox procedures were performed on kids in America for “purely cosmetic reasons”.

Now I’m not going to tell any parent or kid what they should do with their own bodies. It’s their body and their choice. I don’t think I would let me kid have Botox treatments (if I had one). But you know what, I think it’s a lot easier to judge if you are not in the situation. In fact the report went on to state that cosmetic procedures are on the rise among young people, and experts suggest that the reasons for that rise probably include social media culture and the rise of the “selfie” as well as a rise in bullying in our schools.

My knee jerk reaction at the time was, why aren’t they fixing the BULLYING? Why are kids undergoing the risks and rigors of plastic surgery all because kids can’t stop being mean? And then I remembered my own school days. There was a period in my school life, after I had moved to a new school where I was bullied relentlessly. I was verbally abused and physically abused. I had my property repeatedly stolen or damaged. It was so bad, that I often got physically sick from the stress of it all. My parents were extremely worried, but I felt that their involvement would only make it much, much worse. There was no surgery that could have fixed my situation. And even if there were, I doubt we could have afforded it. But I wonder, if there were a medical fix, that we could afford if we would have used it. I was miserable. My parents were deeply concerned. Would we have undergone a medical risk if it meant that the problem would go away? I don’t know.

What I do know is that not all people who are bullied can have that problem fixed by surgery. The reasons for the bullying are not always physical or may not be easily physically corrected. And even for surgery that is readily available, a whole lot of people cannot afford it. And this lack of access to procedures that can make our social media selfie red carpet ready is just another gaping chasm between the haves and the have nots in our world. So on the one hand I sort of feel like the families that are “opting out” of bullying by changing their physical appearance are making things even harder for the families that do not have that privilege.

It’s easy to heap scorn on the families who seem to take the whole notion of cosmetic surgery very lightly. The report stated that husband/wife cosmetic surgeries are followed only by mommy/daughter plastic surgeries in popularity. It’s easy to heap scorn on the privileged families who hand out boob jobs as high school graduation presents.

But I’d like to suggest that not all cases of kids and families choosing plastic surgery over bullying are quite that simple. If I could have had a surgery to make the bullying stop, might I have done that? I honestly don’t know. And if I had done it, how would my life have turned out differently? Would I be as strong? Maybe not? Would I be less fearful now? Would I take greater emotional risks at this point because I spent less time as a target–less time being wounded? And if my parents had chosen that route would they be wrong for perpetuating the need for perfection just because they wanted me to live my best life, be less in pain?

I don’t really know all the answers here, and I think that’s a good thing. In my mind this is not a simple or black and white thing. I sincerely believe that we need to change the culture of perfectionism, social media shallowness and cruel bullying among young people. And I think that erasing differences by changing whatever faults the bullies choose to target in their victims ultimately make things worse for all of us. But I think it’s important to view this subject through the lens of compassion. Because if back then, when I was a kid, I would have been able to undergo a brief medical procedure that would make the bullying stop, even for a minute, I don’t know that I wouldn’t have done just that.

Love, Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)

P.S. Want me to come to your school and talk about bullying? BOOK ME!

P.S.S. Want free stuff? Join my mailing list!