anonymous |

*Loud record scratch noise*

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog to make this public service announcement. Apparently a woman in North Dakota called into a local radio station saying that she will hand trick-or-treaters that she deems too fat a letter along with their candy. The thin kids will just get candy. After the interview, she emailed a copy of the letter she plans to send along to the radio station.

Want to know what the letter will say? Here it is in all its glory:

Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor! [Picture of a cute pumpkin]

You are probably wondering why your child has this note; have you ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? I am disappointed in “the village” of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo.

Your child is in my opinion moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.

My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.

Thanks!

Yup, apparently this woman called into a radio station (anonymously) and claimed she would be handing these letters out to the fat kids this year. She won’t tell us her full name or where her house is. There is no way for a parent to avoid this house with their kids because nobody [as yet] knows where she lives. But she says she’s going to do this, because, “It takes a village, people!”.

I guess nobody told her that she’s been designated the village idiot and thus probably won’t be put in charge of the welfare of the village children this year.

This whole thing is so appalling, I frankly had a hard time figuring out where to start. So I guess we’ll start at the beginning of this amazingly articulate missive. *Insert eye roll here.*

It begins “Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor”. Because nothing says “happy holidays” quite like shaming your child in front of his peers and offering unsolicited and uninformed opinions on your parenting skills. But that’s okay because I’ve got crappy clip art of a jack o’ lantern here, see? And the jack o’ lantern is smiling so that means I’m being nice.

“You are probably wondering why you are receiving this note;” Yes indeed. I am wondering why you decided to send a judgmental and shame-filled letter home with any child. Since we all know that shame doesn’t make kids healthier, happier or thinner, I would really like to know why you thought it was okay to do that to a kid in front of her peers. Given the fact that shaming kids tends to lead to unhealthy behaviors including binge eating, drug use, alcohol abuse, smoking and eating disorders, I would really like to know what made you think this was okay.

The letter goes on, “have you ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?” Yes I’ve heard this saying, but I’m pretty sure it means something different than you think it does.

Then the letter says, “I am disappointed in “the village” of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo.” To which I would respond. Well I am too. If the village contains judgmental people like you who think that, based solely on a child’s appearance you have the right to shame that kid in front of his friends and send an anonymous letter to the parents telling them that they don’t know how to raise him, I think our “village” has a problem.

Okay, this next line makes me incandescent with rage. She says, “Your child is in my opinion moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.” O.M.G. First of all, how exactly are you determining that the child tips the scales as “moderately obese”. Are you measuring height and weight and calculating B.M.I. on the fly? Are you pulling some skin calipers out of your “candy cauldron” and doing a little skin fold testing there on your front porch? Or are you basing your calculations on which kids are chubby in a way that insults your delicate sensibilities? Oh wait, I forgot. It says it’s your opinion. Did I ask your opinion? Did anyone? No? That my dear villager is a sign you should Just. Shut. Up.

But the last sentence of the letter is the real kicker. She closes by saying, “My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.” It is unbelievable how many unsubstantiated assumptions this woman is able to cram into one little sentence. It assumes that the parent is not doing their job. It assumes that the child has unhealthy eating habits. It assumes that the parents don’t ration candy. It assumes that the parent is unaware that the child is chubby and is somehow negligent as a parent. Does she know this because she knows the child and the family and the situation? Does she have a crystal ball that shows definitively, in each particular situation what is happening in that child and family’s life? Does she know if the kid is taking medications that make weight gain more likely? Does she know if the kid has a metabolic disorder? Does she know if the kid has just lost a parent or is coping with unbridled bullying at school? Or is she spewing hate all based on the fact that Tammy’s tutu is a little too tight?

And she closes with the word “Thanks”. Yes, and let me also offer my thanks.

Thanks for shaming kids in front of their friends. I’m sure that will make everything better.

Thanks for taking the one holiday of the year which is really about kids having fun and wrecking it for them.

Thanks for offering your completely unsolicited and unsubstantiated, bitchy and judgmental opinions on people’s parenting skills based on your personal prejudice.

Thanks for making kids cry.

Thanks for increasing the chances these kids will turn to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or an eating disorder, because everyone knows, a fun-sized Snickers bar is the worst thing in the world.

Thanks so much for staying anonymous while you are bullying kids. Because nothing says, “It takes a village” quite like putting on a mask and lobbing fireballs at children from behind a wall at a safe distance.

The kicker has to be the moment in the radio interview when asked by the hosts of the show why she didn’t give out toys or stickers instead of candy. Our protagonist, who identified herself only as Cheryl, said she didn’t want to be the “mean lady” in the neighborhood.

Um. I’m sorry. That’s not what you meant.

What you really meant is that you only wanted to be mean to the FAT kids, so that makes it okay.

Trick or Treat is supposed to mean give me a treat or I’ll play a trick on you. All I can say, is that if this woman actually follows through and hands out these letters, she is likely to face some pretty staunch retribution. #theVillageTPdYourHouse. I think she might find the village throwing eggs at her very fragile glass house.

Love,

Jeanette DePatie

AKA The Fat Chick

I really wish I was making this stuff up. Once again, we’ve got a blogger (female this time) spilling “ink” in a very public forum about the shape of the body of a professional cheerleader. It seems that CBS Houston Blogger Claire Crawford recently felt the need to criticize the body of NBA cheerleader Kelsey Williams.

Crawford reportedly said in the blog:

The Rockets looked terrible in Game 1, but some say they weren’t the only bad-looking people on the court…

This pretty blonde has been criticized by some folks in OKC for having “pudginess” around her waistline. We’re not trying to be ugly. We are just discussing what men like in women, specifically NBA cheerleaders.

Crawford apparently also said in the blog:

But if she’s comfortable wearing that tiny outfit and dancing for NBA fans, then good for her. Besides … not every man likes women to be toothpick skinny. I’d say most men prefer a little extra meat on her bones.

(Insert facepalm here along with slow sad headshake.) To add insult to injury, a poll was posted at the bottom allowing the public to “weigh in” on whether or not they thought Williams was “too chunky” to be a NBA cheerleader. Reportedly the available options were:

“the perfect look to be an NBA cheerleader,”
“she could use some tightening up in her midsection”
“she has no business wearing that outfit in front of people.”

Which begs the question of what other options might have been made available. Some suggestions include:

Are you f$%*ing kidding me?
Just how desperate are you to up your “hit count”?
Is it possible to be a total misogynist and a woman?
This blogger has no business writing for a major news outlet or anywhere else for that matter.

In other news that came some distance towards restoring my hope in humanity, it seems that many, many people agreed with point number 4 and caused an uproar around the blog post and the blogger. Some suggested that both Crawford and her overseeing editor be fired.

You gotta wonder how the conversation between Crawford and her overseeing editor might have sounded:

Yay! We stirred up nasty, offensive controversy on our blog. Wow people are really worked up, will ya look at that hit count? Oh, oh. Now they are calling for our heads and asking for us to be fired. Better fix it. Blog post? WHAT blog post? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Yup. Shortly after the proverbial poop hit the propeller the blog post was taken down. Not only that, but all other posts by Crawford were removed from the site as well. According to the Daily Mail, Crawford has since deleted her Twitter, Linkedin, and Myspace accounts. At first I thought, “serves her right. Maybe we won’t have to hear any more nonsense from her for a while.” Except, well, not really. Lost Ogle suggests that Claire Crawford is really just a pen name for CBS Digital Content Manager Anna-Megan Raley. So it’s quite possible that “Claire” and her “managing editor” were having a conversation in Anna-Megan Raley’s head (since they are possibly the very same person).

Well, isn’t that convenient? What a great technique! First create disposable online “characters”. Next have them say offensive things likely to stir up lots of noise. Finally, when things get too hot, just “fire” the pretend person and remove all evidence of them from your site.

Honestly, I debated about even writing this blog post. You know the number one rule on the internet is, “don’t feed the trolls”. But at least this post is not in any way linked to anything likely to give more traffic to CBS. But I ask you my dear readers, do you think it’s a sign of progress that so many of us have a fit when we read a post like the one by the alleged Ms. Crawford? And by being upset, are we just playing into the hands of the media outlets who publish this bile, or using a public forum to fight body shaming. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Love,

The Fat Chick