Category Archives: shark tank

Stuff That Weighs More than Me: Shark Tank!

This past year, we spent one night at the Golden Nugget Hotel on Fremont Street in Las Vegas.  The hotel was fairly average for 21st century Las Vegas, except for one thing.  The Shark Tank.  This thing is huge!

Animal inhabitants: Over 300
Height: Over 3 Stories
Featuring: 3 story-tall enclosed tube water slide
Capacity: Over 200,000 gallons
Weight: 1.7 million pounds (excluding the glass and the critters)

Conclusion: The Tank at the Golden Nugget weighs more than me.

Want to learn more about the Shark Tank/Thanksgiving connection?  Check out my series on surviving the holidays at Fat Chick Sings!

Freakin’ laser beams on their freakin’ heads.

I was trolling through photos, looking for inspiration for my post-Thanksgiving blog post when I came across this beauty.  “Yup, that’s the one,” I said.  You may ask why.  You may wonder why I’m looking at a photo with no turkeys or pilgrims or Norman Rockwell paintings as the perfect choice.  If you’re wondering that, well you DO have a lot to be thankful for.  But I’m guessing that most of you are giggling right now because you know EXACTLY what I’m getting at.

Although Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time of rest, and family and gratefulness.  It seems to have become a lot more like a shark tank lately.  From Target shoppers, stepping over the prone body of a man who had collapsed with a fatal heart condition, to a Walmart shopper using pepper spray to ensure she got the last copy of a video game on black friday to Aunt Thelma asking if you really needed that piece of pumpkin pie, the shark tank seems a pretty apt metaphor for what the holidays have become for many of us.

We’re supposed to be thinking about love and happiness and goodwill to our fellow man, but how many of us are wishing we could be a super villain with our very own tank with sharks with freakin’ laser beams on their heads?  (See the video clip HERE.)  And so on top of the shopping stress and the family stress, we have the depression that comes with guilt and unmet holiday expectations.

So, what’s a girl to do?  How do we navigate these treacherous waters?  While I could probably write a book on this subject, you probably don’t have time to read it.  So I’m going to start a series of brief blog posts, each outlining a specific tip for helping you to survive the holidays, okay?

And here’s the first tip:
1.  RECOGNIZE THAT YOU’RE IN DANGEROUS WATERS:
For most of us, the holidays are no kiddie pool.  You don’t want go go wading in without some serious protective gear.  I’m not talking about some inflatable water wings.  Nope, I mean a harpoon, and a shark cage, and possibly nuclear incendiary devices.  While it’s good to be optimistic and think positive (maybe you could leave the nukes at home) it is a good idea to understand that the holidays are a difficult and stressful at times for almost everybody.  So along with the holiday gift lists and grocery lists and packed holiday calendar, be sure to take a little time to plan to care for yourself.  And to gird your loins my dear, for the days ahead.

Love,
The Fat Chick

P.S. Want to learn more about the shark tank in this picture?  Check it out on my other blog: Stuff That Weighs More Than Me.