Magic Beans

It all started this week with dimples.  This week I came across these photos demonstrating an early invention for creating dimples on the cheeks.  I had a fleeting moment where I thought, “well we’ve come a long way since then.”  After a little searching around, I realized that women used to even undergo surgery to create dimples on the face.  Later the same day, I came across somebody in a popular exercise forum asking if there were specific exercises she could do to make dimples appear on her butt.  After calculating the millions I could make for a chair-based device for creating back dimples (or butt dimples) I realized that we haven’t come that far at all.   And after just a little research I realized that many plastic surgeons offer dimple-making procedures.  They can offer dimples for your face and as an add on to a “Brazilian Butt Lift” procedure, they can highlight those tiny little spots over your posterior.

Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t get plastic surgery.  It’s your body and your life, and I am not the boss of you.  And I am not claiming to be completely natural.  I wear some makeup, I get highlights put in my hair.  But this business about dimples got me thinking about what possesses us to go through this sort of pain to have dimples in the right spots.  And just as I was thinking this, I came across this video in my feed talking about “super foods”.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I think good nutrition is very important, and I believe that the nutrients we put into our bodies make a big difference in how we function and how we feel.  But this discussion about super foods is important because it reminds me how often we take something natural and good in this world and then endow that thing with magical powers.

Dimples are good.  On some people they look cute.  Therefore, if I get dimples on my face or on my posterior as part of my butt lift, I will be adorable and irresistible.  Wealthy, attractive, celebrity men will whisk me off on their yachts.  I will become famous.  Everyone will envy me because, you know, dimples!

Gogi berries are good.  They are mysterious.  They have antioxidents.  If I eat them, I will be endowed with the mystical natural powers of the Amazon.   (NOT the one that delivers books to your house with drones.)  I will never get sick.  I will never get tired.  I will live forever.  I will be invincible.

Yup, you see?  Magic beans.  Why is it in this day and age, when we can put a machine on Mars to take pictures and prove there are no martians running around, we still fall prey to this notion that there are magic solutions, magic pills, magic surgeries, magic foods or magic anything that is  going to make everything in our lives perfect.  If only I could get 6-pack abs (sigh…) everything would be perfect:

Or not.  I am afraid there are no such things as magic beans.  There’s just beans.  Beans that are high in nutrition and can taste good and can fill you up and keep you going.  But beans, by and large don’t have magical properties.  Except maybe for these:

Okay maybe beans are just a little bit magic after all!

Love,
Jeanette DePatie (AKA The Fat Chick)

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2 thoughts on “Magic Beans

  1. Becky

    Over the last few months I’ve seen a few different types of ‘magical beans’ popping up on my Facebook feed and it makes me so angry every time. The companies are scamming people into selling them, who are then scamming people they know into buying them…and then of course, none of it actually works, because it’s a scam! But if I say something negative about the ‘magical beans’ then I’m in trouble for being a downer. So frustrating.

    Reply
  2. lozette

    Reminds me of Darry Lyons, a paperazzo here in the UK (although he’s Australian) who got implanted fake abs. Quite… a character.

    Reply

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