Now that we’re through the resolution craze of New Years and the thwarted crazy expectations of Valentine’s Day (alas no Lexus with a giant red bow on top for ME) we’re headed towards the insanity of the media telling us to “get ready for swimsuit season”. Seriously. They’re talking to us months in advance because “preparing for swimsuit season” is mediaspeak for getting a body that meets societal expectations about how it should look in a swimsuit. Meaning tall, blonde, white, tanned and thin, thin, thin.
According to many in the media landscape, getting ready for swimsuit season needs to start months in advance, while it’s still snowing in many parts of the country. This is because getting ready for swimsuit season requires a lot of preparation. Like THIS GUY who suggests putting on your suit from last year and standing in front of a full-length mirror and also stepping on a scale. His regimen includes joining a gym, lifting barbells in front of the TV and walking around in skimpy gym wear so you aren’t accidentally, blissfully unaware of just how awful you look.
Here’s the thing, in my book you can get ready for swimsuit season in about 2 minutes. Just follow these simple steps:
1. Put on a swimsuit.
Well, I guess it’s just one step. So for all you procrastinator chicklettes out there, worry not. In my book, you’ve got quite a while before you need to worry about “getting ready for swimsuit season.”
The Fat Chick