So we’ve discussed all four elements of the Big Fat Cycle:
1. Panic (Omigod I’ve gotta do something).
2. Fantasy (I’m going to look like a GODDESS!  I’m going to win an OSCAR!)
3. Defeat (well I already had a french fry, might as well eat EVERYTHING–super sized)
4. Despair (I am so LAME!  I will NEVER be happy)

Man, I’ve been getting depressed just writing about this stupid cycle for the past four weeks.  What do you say?  Can we get off the ride now?

Whew!  That’s better.  Don’t worry, we’ll be talking about some specific things you can actually do to improve your health without making you go insane.  And hey, the sun came out today.

Things are looking up…

Love,
The Fat Chick

The largest living organism on earth is probably NOT what you thought.  I was surprised to learn that the Aspen tree forms large groups of genetically indentical trees (or stems) which all share the same underground root system and are all formed from the same original plant.

The largest known fully-connected Aspen is a grove in Utah.  Nicknamed Pando, some scientists describe it as the largest organism in the world.

Pando Statistics
Area: 106 acres
Weight: 6,600 short tons

Conclusion: Pando weighs more than me.

The thing about despair (major or minor) is that it causes us to obsessively look inward.  The thing about grace is it’s unexpected and undeserved.  It literally comes from nowhere.  So if you’re sunk into a funk or feeling despair, you just might miss it when saving grace literally drops from heaven into your lap,

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been dealing with some microdramas this week.  And I mentioned how a critical U-turn on any given element in your life, can turn everything around.  So I took a little U-turn this week.  And the results have been great.

But beyond the U-turn, I’ve really sought to keep my eyes and my ears and my heart open to detect even the slightest wisp of grace floating my way.  This is especially hard when we feel that life has kicked us in the teeth or that people let us down.  Because remaining open means that we are opening ourselves up for even more potential disappointment.  And it feels completely counter intuitive.  Why would I ever believe this joy will come to me.  The world will just let me down again.

But being open also means you may get a helping hand that lifts you up in a way you never expected.  So I cautiously, gently remained open to grace this week.  And I was not disappointed.

Friends I haven’t heard from in years popped up out of the blue and cheered me in a way I didn’t think possible.  A former client called with a gig.  A current client and I reached consensus on a difficult creative challenge we’ve been wrestling with.

So however battered you may feel–however hurt–see if you can keep one eye and one ear carefully tuned towards grace.

And all the light and help you didn’t even know you needed may gently fall on you.

Love,
The Fat Chick

The Spruce Goose made it’s first and only flight on November 2, 1947.
Height: 79 feet, 3 3/8 inches
Length: 218 fee 6 ¼ inches
Power: Eight Pratt & Whitney R-4360, 3,000 horsepower engines
Propellers: Eight, 17 feet, 2 inch diameter
Capacity: 750 troops or two Sherman tanks
Weight, Empty: 300,000 pounds
Weight, Loaded: 400,000 pounds (maximum take-off weight)



Conclusion: empty or full, the Spruce Goose weighs more than me.  


Want to hear about how I’m handling too much Howard Hughes style alone time?  Check out my latest post at The Fat Chick Sings!

Despite all the agony of realizing that you’ve been sprinting down the wrong road, the only way you’ll leave despair and get back to a happier, better you is to make a U-turn.  As with all this philosophical stuff I spout on here, it’s a lot easier to say than to do.

I know what I’m talking about.  Funnily enough I’ve been coping with a little bit of despair this week.  Don’t worry, I’m okay.  It’s more like microtrauma.  But it’s a trauma nonetheless.

And after the 2 hours of wailing, crying, cursing and teeth-gnashing on Monday night in the presence of my poor husband, I had to face the thing head on.  I’m not nearly as together as my Facebook profile might lead you to believe.  I get sad.  I get discouraged.  Hey!  I’m SUFFERING over here!

But being pragmatic as I am (and realizing that I’ve probably already maxed out my whining to hubby time for the WHOLE month of February) I realized that my feelings won’t change unless I change.  I needed to make a U-turn.

A U-turn doesn’t have to be dramatic.  You don’t need to turn your whole life around.  As you probably already know, I don’t go in for that all or nothing stuff.  Just change one thing around.  Make a concerted effort to do one thing differently or change how you handle one thing, and see if it gets you out of the rut.

I decided that I had been feeling isolated, so I made a highly concerted effort to start calling people and setting up actual “dates” and “meeting times” to get together.  I work from home most of the time–which is awesome.  But at some point you realize you’re having long meaningful conversations with the dog and you haven’t washed your hair for days.  And lest I fall ENTIRELY into a Howard Hughes kind of rut, I need to make a U-turn and meet face to face with some real live people.

So if you’re stuck in a rut, what can you change.  How can you make a itty-bitty U-turn to get on a different track.  Turn that car around darlin’ and start driving towards joy!

Love,
The Fat Chick 

The Statue of Liberty (not including its base)
Height of statue from the base to the top of the torch: over 151 ft.
Length of nose: 4 ft. 6 inches
Shoe Size based on Standard American Women’s Sizes 879
Approximate fabric in Liberty’s dress: 4,000 sq.yds.
Weight of copper used in statue: 100 tons
Weight of steel used in statue: 125 tons
Total weight used in statue: 225 tons

Conclusion: Not only is the Statue of Liberty a BIG girl, but she weighs more than me.

In our talk about despair, I thought it important to mention that despair can also happen after you’ve discovered that you’ve made a significant amount of progress down the wrong dang road.  Now not only is your time “wasted”, but you’ll have to back track all that way before you can move forward.

This is what’s so dangerous and depressing about our nation’s current obsession with thinness as a surrogate for health.  Because we, as a nation are sprinting down the wrong stupid road.  And sooner or later, when we each individually recognize it, we have a WHOOOOOLE lot of angry to cope with before we move forward.

Take Mrs. Obama’s current emphasis on the “obesity crisis”.  Firstly, all kids need to work on healthy habits, regardless of their current body size.  And finally, body size is not the point.   Eating well and exercising is the point.  By singling out fat kids, we simply heap more shame (as if parents and peers aren’t doing that enough already), setting them up for disordered eating and increasing stress levels which according to recent  seem to have at least as much impact on health as anything else related to body size.  Does Mr. Obama think it will improve his daughter’s health to refer to her in the national media as “a little chubby”?  Does Ms. Obama think that her very public discussion of her “obesity intervention” for her daughters will help them to grow up strong, healthy and well-adjusted?  If you want to talk about how you as a family have decided to spend more energy on healthy habits, okay then.  But maybe you should focus the media on your updated parenting skills rather than your poor kids’ pant sizes.

They, like so many in our country, are at the intersection, with that little orange baton waving the traffic down the wrong stupid road.  It’s almost enough to make you despair.  Almost.

However,  as I’ve said before, healthy is as healthy does.  And rather than despair, today I choose to rebel.  I’m going to eat my tomato soup, and shake my big bootie while I teach my aerobics class.  Take that, Michelle.

I’m here, waving you towards the road less traveled.  The one where you take care of yourself and your body not because you’re filled with panic and despair, but rather because you love yourself.  

Right this way…

Love,
The Fat Chick

If you’re talking about a tall tale, I can’t say.

If you’re talking about the critter 1200-2000 lbs.

Conclusion:  At least the four legged furry variety of bull weighs more than me.

We’ve been talking about the big fat cycle and leading up to the big dark daddy–despair.  This is when we’ve enjoyed the magical thinking, built up the fantasy and fallen down and given up.  Despair is when we say always and never.  I always screw things up.  I’ll never succeed.  I’ll never be happy again.  And the hardest part, is in this hour, of hurt and desperation, it’s hard to hear anything else that anybody tells you.  Even when you know they care.  Even when you want to hear them, it’s difficult to make out their words over the crushing pain in your heart.

Needless to say, it’s better if you don’t get to this place.  This is a real big incentive to stay off the big fat cycle in the first place.  But if you are there, you have to deal with it.

I’m tempted to offer some glib one-liner about 5 steps to conquering despair.  But in my experience, it just doesn’t work like that.  I will make a few gentle suggestions though.

First, breathe.  Take a deep breath in, blow a deep breath out and repeat.  When our hearts hurt we forget to breathe and that only makes our hearts hurt even more.

Next, gently try to move away from always and never.  Never say never is an oxymoron, but the reasoning is sort of sound.  Despair makes us take “mostly”, “often” or even “sometimes” and converts it to “always” and “never”.  When you catch yourself thinking always and never thoughts, breathe (that’s step one, remember?) and try as gently as you can to entertain the notion that it may not really be always or never but somewhere in between.

Also, find nourishment.  Remember in the first week of January, we talked all about nourishment.  Get a bowl of soup.  Take in a sunrise.  Put on your fuzzy bunny slippers.  Seek comfort.

You might also seek to find a way to take a teeny-tiny microstep towards your goals.  Something small and achievable.  Write a letter.  Make a list.  Buy a pencil to write a list with.

Finally, wait.  Everything looks a little better after a good night’s sleep.  And things rarely end up as bad as they seem at first.  Sometimes you’ve just got to give life a chance to work  itself out.

But if it doesn’t work itself out, you need to find help, from a trusted friend or better yet, a professional therapist or counselor.

If you hate me for all this platitudinous advice, I don’t blame you.  I’ve been there.  But, even if you do hate me, I wish you peace and joy, and a smooth path to find it.

Love,
The Fat Chick