As of today, right now, I am declaring and asserting my right to freedom. I am free to wear colors other than black. I am free to wear clothes that aren’t “slimming”. I am free to wear big, loud dimestore jewelry that I bought at stores where my young teenage nieces shop. I’m free to wear pantyhose WITHOUT a control top or heck–maybe I won’t wear pantyhose at all. I’m free to wear anything I like even if my butt DOES look big in it. I’m free to decide I look darn good and I’m also free to ignore anybody who says anything to the contrary. I’m free to live a life unfettered and unbounded. Girls I’m throwing out my girdle because today I’m free!